My Perfect Grandma

For as long as I can remember, my grandmother has talked about death.  Not just any death, though, her death.  Whenever someone died, she would say that she wished it were her.  When my grandpa died, she talked about how happy she was for him.  She even wanted to have a little party to celebrate his "graduation".  She looked forward to the day that she would leave this earth, because, as she always said, "There's work to do!".  Yesterday, she finally got her wish.  While her passing wasn't really a shock to anyone - she was getting to that age where her body was slowly rebelling - it was very sudden.  She had been doing really well as of late, or so it seemed.  And then she was just gone.

I've been hit with waves of different emotions over the past 18 hours or so.  To be honest, my relationship with my grandma was kind of strained.  Events during the past few years had kind of put a damper on what used to be a fun, normal grandmother/granddaughter bond.  Because of that, I probably didn't make the effort that I should have to stay close to her, although I did try to visit off and on. 

When mom called and told me that grandma had died, after the initial shock, I felt incredible relief and joy.  Then came immediate guilt for feeling that joy.  Why was I happy?  What was wrong with me?  And then I realized that my happiness was not because she died, but because she could now live.  She has been plagued her whole life with physical and emotional and mental obstacles.  She had a pretty tough life.  And now, all those things that were holding her back are gone.  I just keep thinking of that scripture in Moroni, "Come unto Christ and be perfected in him.."(Moroni 10:32), and I firmly believe that Grandma is with Christ and she is perfect.  All those maladies that she had to deal with in her physical body have been removed.  Her spirit and her mind are healed.

Of course, as I was reading today, Grandma was forefront on my mind.  As I read about Christ's visit to the Nephites after his ascension into heaven, I couldn't help but think of Grandma and her reunion with Him.

Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified would come into the world.

And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning. (3 Nephi 11:10-11)  

The Atonement of Jesus Christ was not just about our sins.  It was about all the hardships that we would face.  It was about my grandma's fibromyalgia and sciatica and all those other things that she dealt with on a daily basis.  He loved her (and all of us) so much that He died so that she could live again in a perfect state - free of pain and mental anguish.  Because of Him, I will see her again.  My perfect Grandma.  There are not words to express my deep, eternal gratitude for this knowledge.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 11