True Integrity

©Darrell Wyatt

This morning as I was reading, I learned of the absolute integrity that Mormon possessed.  The kind of integrity that is, unfortunately, so rare.  Mormon knew that his people were going to be destroyed because of their wickedness.  He tried with all his might to preach repentance to them, but to no avail.  They continued to boast in their own strength when they won sporadic battles against the Lamanites.  They delighted in their riches, and went to war for unrighteous reasons.  He knew that they would have to be swept off the face of the earth, as had been foretold, and he sorrowed greatly because of this knowledge.  Yet, when he was again appointed to lead these armies, he did so with honor.  Instead of putting himself halfheartedly into his duties, he led the armies with  every ounce of courage and strength that he could muster.

Knowing that the coming battle would be the last, Mormon hid the plates away from the Lamanites.  He knew that if the records fell into the wrong hands, they would be destroyed.  But he did not bury all of the plates.  He understood that there would need to be a continued record of the events to follow, so he left a few plates to his son Mormon.  Even in this, he showed extreme integrity.  He was called on by the Lord to keep a record of the happenings of his time.  Facing certain death, he continued this record.  Could I have done the same?  I'm not sure.

If my math is right, over 230,000 Nephites died in this, the last battle.  According to Mormon's count, there were twenty-four left alive, including himself and his son, Moroni.

And my soul was rent with anguish, because of the slain of my people, and I cried:

O ye fair ones, how could ye have departed from the ways of the Lord!  O ye fair ones, how could ye have rejected that Jesus, who stood with open arms to receive you!

Behold, if ye had not done this, ye would not have fallen. But behold, ye are fallen, and I mourn your loss.

O ye fair sons and daughters, ye fathers and mothers, ye husbands and wives, ye fair ones, how is it that ye could have fallen!

But behold, ye are gone, and my sorrows cannot bring your return. (Mormon 6:16:20)

I cannot even comprehend the sorrow that Mormon felt, seeing an entire nation wiped out because they wouldn't turn to the Lord in repentance and humility.  He had tried to warn them. He had tried to help them.  But they would not listen.  And now they were gone.

But Mormon did not see their annihilation as the end of his earthly calling.  He continued to call on people to turn to the Lord - to preach to them of Jesus Christ and the blessings that come from belief on Him.  The people that he was preaching to, however, were not even aware yet that he was speaking to them.

And now, behold, I would speak somewhat unto the remnant of this people who are spared, if it so be that God may give unto them my words, that they may know of the things of their fathers; (Mormon 7:1)

He was speaking to the descendants of the few surviving Nephites, and also to anyone who would thereafter read the records that he had written and abridged.  He was, again, speaking to me.

Therefore repent, and be baptized in the name of Jesus, and hold upon the gospel of Christ which shall be set before you, not only in this record but also in the record which shall come unto the Gentiles from the Jews, which record shall come from the Gentiles unto you. (Mormon 7:7)

Mormon wanted us to know that not only did his record testify of Christ, but so did the Bible.  

For behold, this is written for the intent that ye may believe that; and if ye believe that ye will believe this also; and if ye believe this ye will know concerning your fathers, and also the marvelous works which were wrought by the power of God among them.(Mormon 7:8)

He testified of the truthfulness and importance of the Bible.  The whole intent of Mormon's abridgment of the plates into what would become the Book of Mormon was to be another witness that the things in the Bible were true.  That if we would read the Book of Mormon, we would believe the Bible, and if we would believe the Bible, we would believe the Book of Mormon.  That we would have a complete record of the marvelous works which were wrought by the power of God.

Mormon spent his final days magnifying the calling given him by God.  To testify of Christ.  To complete the records of his people.  He could have spent these days in peaceful rest, waiting to be taken to his promised place in the presence of the Lord.  But he did not.  His integrity would not allow it.  

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 6

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 7

Where Everybody Knows My Name

As wonderful and magical as the week of Christmas is, it can also be very stressful.  There are gifts to wrap, cards to deliver, dinners to plan and cook and serve.  There's really a lot to do.  As much as I wanted to focus on the Savior and the real meaning of Christmas, with young children and extended family visiting, that unfortunately got pushed to the back burner for a short time.  I've had some tension headaches and a tweaked neck for the past couple of days, and I'm sure that it's because of the stress of getting everything done.

It was such a nice break to go to church today, after all of that hustle and bustle of trying to get everything done and make everything perfect.  It was great to see neighbors and to again speak of the Savior.  Our ward has a tradition in which, on the last Sunday of the year, the families of missionaries out in the field get to speak and give an update on their missionary.  Today we were blessed to hear from the families of eight elders who are out in the mission field.  The newest missionary has been out for only eleven days, and the longest serving will be coming home next week.  Each had written a letter to the ward.  Some of them talked of specific experiences that they have had thus far in their missions, and others just talked of their love for the Savior and their gratitude for the ability to serve Him.  Every one of them, though, spoke specifically of their love for the ward family that they felt had contributed in their successful missions.  They talked of leaders who had helped them to mature into the men they now are.  One even thanked his piano teacher, a ward member, and said that her instruction had proved to be very useful in the mission field.

As these ward members were speaking, I glanced around the chapel and realized that someday, those words may be coming from my sons.  There were people in that chapel who are definitely playing a large role in the growth of my kids.  Everyone, from their primary teachers to the Bishopric to the youth leaders, will touch my kids lives in a positive way.  And my kids will have a, hopefully, positive influence on other kids around them.  They have many friends in the ward who will grow alongside them and provide a shoulder to lean on when times get tough, as they inevitably do during those growing years.  It's just so comforting to belong to a ward family.

©Darrell Wyatt

I'm still reading in Mormon, and I have to say, I absolute love his writing style.  He's so descriptive.  There was one phrase that really stood out to me during today's reading.  He's talking about the wickedness of the people and how we, the readers of the Book of Mormon will feel upon learning of this wickedness.

...they will sorrow that this people had not repented that they might have been clasped in the arms of Jesus. (Mormon 5:11)

Clasped in the arms of Jesus.  That perfectly describes how I felt at church today.  I felt like all of the stresses of this busy week just melted away, and that I was clasped in His arms.  Being in a place where everyone knows me and we can all come together with one purpose, to worship Him, is such a blessing.  It's a blessing that I hope that everyone at one point in their lives can partake of - to feel that wonderful sense of belonging.  To feel the warmth of being clasped in the arms of Jesus.

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 4

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 5

Listen Up

©Darrell Wyatt

Once a week, almost all of my kids bring home a communication report from school.  Each child's is a bit different, but the general idea is the same.  These reports are to let me know how they're doing in school in various areas - homework, participation in class, relationships with other students, and their overall behavior.  Most of the time, it's just a form letter that comes home and I just sign it and send it back.  Every once in awhile, however, there's a note from the teacher addressed specifically to me about my child.  At first, I didn't really pay attention, because I was so used to the form letter and I didn't notice the extra note.  I'd just sign it, as is my habit, without really paying attention.  When I finally did see that the teacher was trying to get my attention, I was a little embarrassed that I hadn't noticed before.  Now, I pay extra attention each week so that I won't miss anything important again.

I kind of feel like that's what happened as I was reading this morning.  I'm in such a habit of reading (yay!),  and this blog has helped me pay a lot more attention to what I'm reading, but I still sometimes take it for granted.  Sometimes it sort of feels like this:  Keep the commandments, love one another, say your prayers, avoid pride, blah, blah, blah.  Yes, I know it's probably irreverent to use "blah, blah, blah" when describing the word of God, and of course I don't mean it disrespectfully.  But, sometimes as I'm reading, my mind wanders.  It feels like I'm reading the same thing over and over - sort of like my kids' form letter communication reports.  And then, all of a sudden, when I may or may not have been paying good attention, Mormon adds a personal note.

And these things doth the Spirit manifest unto me; therefore I write unto you all.  And for this cause I write unto you, that ye may know that ye must all stand before the judgment-seat of Christ, yea, every soul who belongs to the whole human family of Adam; and ye must stand to be judged of your works, whether they be good or evil;

And also that ye may believe the gospel of Jesus Christ, which ye shall have among you...

And I would that I could persuade all ye ends of the earth to repent and prepare to stand before the judgment-seat of Christ. (Mormon 3:20-22)

Mormon was talking to me.  He had a special message just for me, the reader of the Book of Mormon.  "Hey!  Listen!  I'm writing these things for you.  Pay attention!"  

Mormon was not writing and abridging the plates for the benefit of the people during his time.  He really was doing it for us - for our time.  We need to know of Christ and have a witness of Him even more than Mormon's people.  They had many witnesses and signs and miracles and they did not believe them.  As much as Mormon loved them, he understood that they had become so wicked that they wouldn't appreciate his writings.  He really was writing to me.

The scriptures are very repetitive, but the authors were not just trying to fill up space.  If something is repeated, it's because it's very important for the reader to understand - something that God would have us learn.  We are blessed to have written commandments and prophesies to return to again and again.  Just like my kids communication reports, I'm grateful that I don't have to hear from God only when I've done something wrong.  I can hear his voice daily through the writings of inspired prophets.  That's pretty incredible.  And an amazing blessing.

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 3

Open Windows

 
My son was three when he was diagnosed with autism.  The evaluation process seemed like a long one.  It took months of testing everything from his hearing to testing his blood for lead poisoning and everything in between.  There were what seemed like hours of watching him through a one way mirror, just hoping that he would interact even a little bit with the specialist.  He didn't.  We suspected that autism would be the diagnosis, but when it was actually given, we were still shell-shocked.  We had no idea where to begin, but we knew that we had to start right then.  The therapist told us that as far as autism diagnoses go, we were a little behind schedule.  And with children, every moment matters.  There are certain windows of opportunity that, once closed, are very very hard to reopen.

So we started.  With help from my parents and other family members, we were able to enroll him in a wonderful program about an hour and a half away from home at the University of Utah.  We began by taking him a few times a week, and then once a week and then finally the therapist came to our home to transition us from her care.  That was a scary day.  Knowing that I'd be solely responsible for his growth was very daunting.  With much prayer and many opportunities that have been placed in our paths, though, he has really excelled.  He's still not what most people would consider "normal", but he has come so far from that silent, circle-spinning boy he was twelve years ago.  He struggles with many things that other kids his age don't have to, but he is happy.  And I can't imagine him any other way.  I truly believe that he has come this far because we were able to take advantage of those windows of opportunity that the therapist impressed upon us.

In thinking about it, I know that all children - not just special needs kids - have those windows.  There are windows of time where potty training is  most effective.  There are windows where they learn certain things like reading and math.  Each child's windows may open at a different age, but they all have them.

I was thinking about this as I read about Mormon this morning.  He was just ten years old when he was given the charge to abridge the records of the Nephites into the Book of Mormon.  Ammaron had hidden the plates due to the increasing wickedness of the people.  He told Mormon that he perceived him to be "a sober child" and "quick to observe"(Mormon 1:2).  He instructed him that he needed to observe the happenings of the people and that when he was twenty-four years old, he should go to the place where the plates were hidden and engrave everything he had seen onto the plates of Nephi.

When Mormon was eleven, his father moved him south into the land of Zarahemla.  It was very populated, and war had broken out among the Lamanites and the Nephites.  Mormon described the wickedness of both groups of people:

But wickedness did prevail upon the face of the whole land, insomuch that the Lord did take away his beloved disciples, and the work of miracles and of healing did cease because of the iniquity of the people.

And there were no gifts from the Lord, and the Holy Ghost did not come upon any, because of their wickedness and unbelief. (Mormon 1:13-14)

Everyone around Mormon was incredibly wicked, yet he, as a fifteen year old boy, was able to withstand this wicked influence.  He was so righteous in fact, that he received a visit from the Lord.  He "knew the goodness of Jesus" (Mormon 1:15).

I thought about this a lot.  At Mormon's young age, he probably had an increased susceptibility to be influenced by those around him.  How was he able to shield himself from that influence?  Mormon doesn't talk a lot about his father (also named Mormon), but he must have been a good man.  He taught his son in the ways of his ancestors to be be true to the teachings of Christ and his disciples (Mormon 1:5).  He surely used those windows of opportunity to impress upon his young son the importance of living righteously.  Ammaron also, even if unknowingly, played an important role in Mormon's development into a stalwart young man and adult.  By letting a young boy know of his divine nature and responsibility, Ammaron helped mold Mormon's future.

It was in this same way that my son's therapists and we as parents were able to shape him into the person that he is today.  It is the reason that we have Primary at church, instead of just a glorified day care.  It is most important to teach children while they are young.  While their divine roles and responsibilities can be impressed upon their eager minds.  While their windows are open.

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 1

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 2

The Heavenly Gift

©Darrell Wyatt

 
Today was our ward choir's Christmas program, and it was beautiful!  The choir sang, violins played, various speakers spoke, and the spirit was definitely very strong.  As I looked over the choir, I took notice of the diversity of the group.  There were stay-at-home moms, students, engineers, school teachers, librarians, retirees and a couple of people who are between jobs.  There were former bishops and high councilmen and primary teachers and Relief Society counselors.  They were as young as ten and as old as sixty-ish.  There were men, women and children.  But when they were singing, they were all the same - just members of the choir. 

And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift. (4 Nephi 1:3)

What a beautiful gift they shared with us, the congregation!  The program was called "Jesus is the Reason for the Season", and all of the songs celebrated his birth and life and Atonement.  The speakers each spoke about what Christmas meant to them.  My daughter was asked to be one of the speakers, and she wrote the following poem to use as part of her talk:

Christ the greatest of us all,
Born in a manger,
Cold and small.
If you could have been there,
What would you share?
What would you give him,
If you were there?
The wise men gave gifts of wealth,
Heavenly father gave gifts of health.
What do we have,
In the small lives we live?
What on earth,
Could we possibly give?
The shepherds gave all they could,
We only need to do as we should.
Give him all your soul and heart,
Try with all your might to do your part.
I think that would be the best to give,
To live the lives he'd want us to live.

I think she really captured the meaning behind Christmas.  God's gift to us was his only begotten son.  Christ's gift to us was his life.  What will our gift to him be?

In the first few generations after Christ visited the Nephites, the people lived together as one.  There was no envy.  There was no strife.  There was just peace.  "And surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God" (4 Nephi 1:16).  As a parent, the greatest gift that I could ever receive is to have happy children.  I'm sure God is no different.  Just like my daughter said, we only need to do as we should.  If everyone is living the lives that we have been asked to live, we would be as one.  We could have all things in common amongst ourselves.  We would be happy.  That is the greatest gift we can give Him - not just this holiday season, but all year long.

Click here to read what I read today: 4 Nephi

Search, Ponder, and Pray

©Darrell Wyatt

I've spent a lot of time the last two days pondering the things that I read about the Three Nephites.

 Therefore, that they might not taste of death there was a change wrought upon their bodies, that they might not suffer pain nor sorrow save it it were for the sins of the world. (3Nephi 28:38)

First, I thought about why they would have been granted their desire of never tasting death.  Jesus knew of this desire before they even spoke it, so he must have understood the reasons behind it.  He must have known that they wished only to live forever that they might be able to continue preaching of Him and ministering to people.  That they would only use their immortality for righteousness.

The part of the chapter that I've been really thinking the most about is that Jesus promised them that they would never suffer pain or sorrow, "save it were for the sins of the world".  At first glance, this seems like the perfect life.  They would never know physical pain.  They could not be harmed.  In fact, I learned from reading that they were cast into prison, cast into pits, cast into a furnace (3 times!), and cast into a den of wild beasts twice.  The prison walls collapsed, the pits were not deep enough to hold them, they received no harm from the furnaces, and they were found playing with the wild beasts "as a child with a suckling lamb".  Nothing could hurt them.  They would never know the pain of death.  There was "a change wrought upon them, insomuch that Satan could have no power over them, that he could not tempt them; and they were sanctified in the flesh, that they were holy, and the the powers of the earth could not hold them"(3 Nephi 28:39).  Sounds marvelous.

As I was thinking though, I couldn't wrap my mind around them not feeling sorrow, "save it were for the sins of the world".  I've felt some physical pain in my life - childbirth, broken bones, cuts, burns, things like that.  I've also felt sorrow.  I've felt sorrow at the death of a loved one.  I've felt the sorrow of watching a friend slowly waste away because of disease.  I've also experienced a little sorrow because of the suffering of people I care about due to choices they've made in their lives.  I think that might be the worst kind of sorrow, because unlike death or disease, sin can be avoided.  If given the chance to decide, I think that there are many times that physical pain would be preferable to feeling that kind of sorrow. 

So why would Jesus take away everything but that?  Why would he allow the Three Nephites to escape everything but sorrow for the sins of the world?  If anyone knew the pain of that kind of sorrow, it was Jesus Christ.  Just days earlier, he had bled from every pore because he took upon himself the sins of the world.  The only thing that I could conclude after careful thought and prayer, is that they needed to feel that sorrow.  Perhaps it is the motivation that they need to keep going.  They have lived through some incredible and horrific times these last almost two thousand years.  They have seen the cycles of righteousness and wickedness. I've wondered these last two days if it ever becomes overwhelming to them - the sorrow that they must feel for the increasingly sinful nature of the world.  Or are they too busy bringing "the souls of men unto" Christ to be overwhelmed? 

And for this cause ye shall have fulness of joy; and ye shall sit down in the kingdom of my Father; yea, your joy shall be full, even as the Father hath given me fulness of joy; and ye shall be even as I am...(3 Nephi 28:10)

Because of the great sorrow that these men must feel, the joy that they will experience at the coming of Christ will be all the more sweet.  They will "live to behold all the doings of the Father unto the children of men".  The will see both joy and sorrow in prophesies being fulfilled.  They will truly earn their eternal reward.  Because they have seen the utmost sorrow, they will feel the utmost joy. 

I don't think I've ever spent as much time pondering any scripture passage as I have this one.  Even as I was typing my thoughts, I wasn't sure what Heavenly Father would have me learn from reading these chapters.  Until right now.  There are two thoughts that just came into my head.  First, I realized that no one is exempt from sorrow.  Jesus Christ felt sorrow more fully than I could even imagine.  Why should I think I can go through my life without it?  The second thing that I realized is that Heavenly Father is aware of all of our sorrows.  If we can but endure through them to the end, we also can taste of that fulness of joy that was promised to the Three Nephites.  We will also be able to sit down in the kingdom of our Father, where our earthly sorrows will be turned to joy.  What a blessing!

I'm very grateful for this chance that I've had to put some extra time into my study.  Hopefully I came away from it learning what I was supposed to learn.  If nothing else, I've learned the importance of prayerfully considering each chapter that I read.  That's a great lesson just by itself.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 28

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 29

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 30

Baby Steps

Last night, my husband and I left to run errands and do a little bit of Christmas shopping.  It was so nice to be able to just get out and relax.  It almost made me forget what it used to be like when I'd have to go shopping with all the kids.  Almost.  Those were definitely the times that try men's souls.  I would, out of either bravery or sheer stupidity, think that whatever I needed at the store just couldn't wait until my husband got home from work to stay with the kids, and we would load up and venture out.  I usually regretted it before we even arrived at the store, what with all the "MO-OOOM!  He's touching me!" and "She's breathing my air!" comments coming from the back of the van.  Once we arrived at the store, they would transform from pretty normal, well-adjusted kids, into little beggars.  My ears would ring with cries of "Please, mom?  Can I have this?  If you buy this for me, I'll never ask for another thing in my WHOLE life."  After awhile, our trips to the store would include a brief lecture in the parking lot before seatbelts could come off.  "No, you can't have anything, so don't ask.  No running.  No hitting.  No yelling.  Stay right next to the cart - no wandering off.  If one person asks me if they can have something, we will come straight back out to this car and go home with nothing.  Don't test me." So, they stopped asking.  But they didn't stop testing.  "Mom, isn't this (insert name of candy or toy or hair pretty or clothing item here) so great???  I wonder what it would be like to have one."  My favorite trick, though (and they all still use it), is when one of the kids would say something like, "Look at this!  I'm pretty sure that Kim would love it.  Maybe we should just buy it for her and if she doesn't like it, I could have it."  Professional con artists, I've raised.

Needless to say, when my oldest daughter got old enough that we could leave her home with the younger kids, we jumped at the chance.  As much as we wanted to, though, we didn't start out with an all-day excursion.  I think the first time I left her in charge, I went to the convenience store around the corner.  I was gone for no more than ten or fifteen minutes.  As worried as I was that a fireball would somehow fall from the sky and consume my house and all my children within that time period, it was a little freeing to be out on my own in the middle of the day.  So I kept doing it.  I would leave for for a little bit longer each time.  Baby steps.  When I finally realized that she could handle it and that the earth wasn't going to open up under my house and swallow them up if I left for an hour or two, I could really enjoy my alone time.  Soon, the time at which I would decide to come home was decided upon only when the other customers at the store got tired of my cell phone ringing.  "Everything is going great.  When are you coming home?  Are you almost here?  What's for dinner?  I forgot what I was going to say.  I love you."  Now, after a few years, the kids are all pretty independent, and because of that, so am I.  I can pretty much leave whenever I need or want to, without much worry.  And it is so nice.

As I was reading this morning, I stumbled upon some versus that were similar in theory to my experiences with the kids.

And when they shall have received this, which is expedient that they should have first, to try their faith, and if it shall so be that they shall believe these things then shall the greater things be made manifest unto them.

Behold, I was about to write them, all which were engraven upon the plates of Nephi, but the Lord forbade it, saying:  I will try the faith of my people. (3 Nephi 26: 9, 11)

I'm not quite sure what these "greater things" are that have been withheld from the Book of Mormon, but I completely understand the reasoning behind withholding them.  Baby steps.  There are many, many people who don't believe that the Book of Mormon is the word of God.  He is teaching us, just as Isaiah foretold, "precept upon precept...line upon line; here a little, and there a little"(Isaiah 28:10).  Just as I gave my daughter more and more responsibility, little by little, as she showed she was capable, the Lord will give us more according to our faith and willingness to accept what small amount we have been given.  I'm sure that he'd love to just give it all to us right now, but he knows that we need to be completely ready.  Again, an example of a wise and omnipotent Father.  I don't know if I will live to see the "greater things" revealed, but I hope to prove to God my worthiness to someday receive them.  For now, I'll just keep taking those baby steps.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 25

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 26

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 27

The Windows of Heaven

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in my house; and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it. (3 Nephi 24:10)

©Darrell Wyatt

I have had many experiences that have given me a strong testimony of tithing, but none have left quite as big an impression as one that happened about fifteen years ago.  My husband and I, along with our then two children, were living in a small duplex.  Money was always very tight, but for some reason, at this particular time, it was extra tight.  We had paid our bills and our tithing, bought a few groceries, and literally had no money left until the next paycheck.  A few days before pay day, we ran out of baby formula for our son who was just a few months old.  We were frantic.  We had no idea how we were going to get him his milk, and knew that we really had no choice but to find a way.  We scavenged all through the house - in drawers, in pockets and in couch cushions - and ended up with $7.42.  I knew that the formula was $6.99, and I just prayed all the way to the grocery store that the tax would not make the total come to more than I had.  It seemed like such a long walk from the infant section of the store up to the checkout stands.  I didn't know what I was going to do if I didn't have enough.  Thinking back, I can still feel the anxiousness that I was feeling then.  As the clerk rang up the formula and told me the total amount, I gasped.  $7.42.  I handed her my handfuls of change and went to the car, where I broke into tears.  I couldn't contain my gratitude.  It was then that I discovered that Heavenly Father will always provide a way for me to have the things that I really need.  I may not always get the things that I want, but the things that I need will always somehow be there.

In an April, 1982 General Conference talk, President Hinckley really captured this principle.  He said that if we are paying our tithing to get rich, we are doing it for the wrong reasons.  "The Lord will open the windows of heaven according to our need, and not according to our greed."  I love that!

Some may look at my experience and say that if the Lord was really blessing me, I wouldn't have had to scrounge for $7.42.  I disagree wholeheartedly.  I was given a blessing that has stayed with me all these years.  Had I not had to scrounge for milk money, I would have missed out on a very valuable lesson.  And I can tell you that when I went to the car after being able to purchase that baby formula, I knew without a doubt that the windows of heaven had been opened.  And there really wasn't room enough for me to receive it.  I was completed overwhelmed at the love I felt at that moment.  I will never forget it.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 23

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 24

Tempest Tossed

Once again, I am in awe over the love of my Father in Heaven.  I've talked in previous posts about my struggle with depression and how scripture reading and other life changes have helped to bring me out of it.  There are times, though, that things will happen and I feel as if I'm in a downward spiral back to that place that I used to be.  Sometimes it's an event that triggers it or a conversation or an unexpected financial difficulty or worries about choices my kids are making.  I never know what it will be, but it happens.  And I get scared.  I don't want to be there again.  I don't want to feel that way or treat others the way I did when I was in that dark place.

These past four or five days, perhaps combined with everything surrounding my grandmother's funeral, have put me again on the edge of that black hole.  It's really hard to explain to someone who has never been there before.  It's like my body and my mind begin to go numb.  I find myself becoming almost emotionless.  I can't deal with simple, every day tasks.  I don't want to do anything but sit or sleep.  I've been praying a lot this weekend that I can pull myself out before I get down too far.  I don't want to be there ever, ever again.

©Darrell Wyatt

I'm so grateful that my scripture reading has become such habit that even when I'm feeling down, I still pick up my scriptures and read.

For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted!  Behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.

And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

(3 Nephi 22:10-13)

I felt immediate comfort.  He really does know me.  He knows what I need.  He is always there for me.  When I am afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, He knows the words to comfort me.  When I am worried about my kids, He says to me that they will have great peace.  I am so blessed.  I will still  have storms and tempests in my life.  He does not always remove them from me, but He calms the waves enough that I can swim back to the peaceful shore.  Oh how I love Him and am grateful for the knowledge that He will always love me.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 21

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 22

Extraordinary

Today began as most Sundays do at my house - a flurry of activity, as everyone showers and eats and gets ready for church.  It was pretty ordinary.  As we got to church, however, we could immediately tell that today's services were going to be anything but ordinary.  Usually, we can park pretty close to front door.  But not today.  There was not one parking space available.  People were parking on the streets and along the edges of the parking lot.  We had never, since moving to our new building, seen so many cars.  We had arrived early, hoping to get our usual comfortable pew, toward the middle of the chapel.  We were shocked when we went inside and discovered that not only would we be sitting in the overflow area, we would be sitting in the back of the overflow area.  We asked a neighbor why there were so many more people than usual and learned that it was a double missionary farewell.  Before Sacrament Meeting even started, it was standing room only.  People were in the hallways, waiting to find a place to sit.  Chairs were taken from classrooms, and instead of the usual neat rows, people were sitting wherever they could find space.  I had never seen anything like it.

As we sang the Sacrament hymn, I watched as the priests prepared the Sacrament.  They kept nervously looking over the congregation.  I could tell that they were concerned that there wouldn't be enough bread and water.  The young deacons each took their trays and began to reverently, and a little anxiously, pass the bread to each row.  There was some confusion as to which deacon would serve which part of the chapel, but this was quickly ironed out and both the bread and water were served without any hitches.  It was actually quite impressive.

Now, when the multitude had all eaten and drunk, behold, they were filled with the Spirit; and they did cry out with one voice, and gave glory to Jesus...(3 Nephi 20:9)

What a blessing the Sacrament is.  There was a little bit of commotion prior to the Sacrament being blessed and passed, but as soon as the hymn had been sung and the first prayer said, the reverence among the congregation was evident.  The spirit was almost tangible as the young men finished passing and returned to sit with their families.

The talks given by these two young elders, just getting ready to leave on their missions, were awesome.  The spirit they brought with them was felt throughout the chapel.  These young men were excited to serve the Lord, to do their part in the building up of the Kingdom of God.

And then shall the remnants, which shall be scattered abroad upon the face of the earth, be gathered in from the east and from the west, and from the south and from the north; and they shall be brought to the knowledge of the Lord their God, who hath redeemed them. (3 Nephi 20:13)

Elder Wilkes and Elder Carlisle will be serving the Lord.  They will be assisting in the gathering of those remnants who are scattered upon the face of the earth.  And they, just like the young men who blessed and passed the Sacrament today, are examples to all those around them. 

I'm so grateful that today was not just an ordinary Sunday.  I was blessed by the extraordinary spirit that comes from worthy young men fulfilling their priesthood duties.

©Darrell Wyatt

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 19

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 20

Perception

©Darrell Wyatt

Perception is a strange thing.  I'm finding that my perception of certain events can be far different from someone else's.  This has become especially evident to me during the last couple of days.  Someone that I love very dearly has become angry with me because of the way she perceived some things that I said.  She told me that I was judgmental and came across as thinking that I'm better than her.  Some of the things that she interpreted me to say were so completely off base that it really floored me.  I literally can't stop thinking about it.

I've gone over and over in my mind the things that she accused me of saying, and while I know without a doubt that I didn't say or even mean those things, there's no disputing the fact that that's what she heard.  And therein lies the problem.  Even though I have done my best to explain my side, the damage has been done.  Hopefully, in time, she will come to the realization that I love her with all my heart and would never want to see her in the pain that she's in right now.  Maybe that time will come, and maybe it will not.  All I can do is pray that her heart will be softened and that I will learn from this experience.

So what can I learn?  I'm not sure that I would change anything that I said, because I meant all of it with the greatest love, but she did not see that.  And why couldn't she see that?  Perhaps it was because I have not let her feel enough of that love previous to our encounter.  If I had, maybe her perception would have been entirely different.  Going forward from here, I can only try to do better at conveying the immense love I have for those around me.  If I can let everyone I have contact with feel of my love for them, maybe they won't be so quick to be offended if I misspeak or say something that could be interpreted in a way other than it was meant.

But what if I the relationship becomes so damaged that it feels as if there is no repair?  What then?

...unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them. (3 Nephi 18:32)

Lest this be perceived as me saying that my friend is the one that needs to repent, let me clarify how I "likened" the scriptures to my current situation.  As I was reading this, I felt as if I was being told, "Just keep loving her."  If I just keep loving her, no matter the hurtful things she said to me, perhaps someday she will be able to forgive me for the things that she felt I said or did.  If I don't continue to show my love for her, she may never be able to get past this anger, which could hinder her progression.  I must do all that I can to let her feel of my love to give her a route to forgive me.

And I give you these commandments because of the disputations which have been among you.  And blessed are ye if ye have no disputations among you. (3 Nephi 18:34)

Hopefully, sooner rather than later, we will be able to put this dispute behind us and feel the blessings that come from doing so.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 18 

Suffer the Little Children

But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me; for of such is the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 19:14)

And it came to pass that he commanded that their little children should be brought.

So they brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and the multitude gave way till they had all been brought to him.(3 Nephi 17:11-12)

And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.

And when he had done this he wept again;

And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them:  Behold your little ones. (3Nephi 17:21-23)

My grandmother's viewing was held on Sunday, the day before her funeral.  It was a solemn experience, seeing her so motionless.  In life, Grandma was anything but motionless.  She was a ball of fire - always on the go.  So it was a little strange to see her lifeless body on display.  It seemed like there was a long stream of people who came to pay their respects.  As grandchildren and great grandchildren, we mostly stayed off to the side, letting other people have their quiet moment with her.  We took family pictures and talked and looked at the display of Grandma's life to pass the time.  

As I was talking to my dad, my eyes wandered to the other side of the large room, where I saw that my little girls and some of their cousins were playing a game of patty-cake.  They were clapping their hands together and dancing and singing loudly - right in front of my grandma's casket.   Thinking that this probably wasn't an appropriate time or place for such behavior, I walked over and told them that they needed to stop because it might be making some people uncomfortable.  They obediently and quietly walked to the other side of the room.

Photo by Scott Kirk

In retrospect, I wish I wouldn't have stopped them.  I'm sure that, somewhere, my grandmother was smiling.  She loved music and games.  I sometimes hear the catch phrase "What Would Jesus Do?".  I think in this situation, instead of stopping the girls, Jesus may have joined them.  He loved little children.  He showed that through his words and actions.  He often counseled that everyone should be as little children - pure and meek and mild.  I think that I've lost some of that childlike innocence.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a [woman], I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11)

How boring.  I have let the stresses and responsibilities of life crowd out some very important behaviors.  I need to learn again how to speak and understand and think as a child.  I must become less uptight and starchy.  Stop sweating the small stuff.  That's what Jesus would have me do.

A long time ago, in a beautiful place, children were gathered 'round Jesus.  He blessed and taught as they felt of his love - each saw the tears on his face.  The love that he felt for his little ones, I know he feels for me.  I did not touch him or sit on his knee, but Jesus is real to me.  Wrapped in the arms of my Savior's love, I feel his gentle touch.  Living each day, I will follow his way - home to my Father above.  I know he lives.   I will follow faithfully.  My heart I give to him.  I know that my Savior loves me. (I know that my Savior Loves Me, words and music by Tami Jeppson Creamer and Derena Bell)

How grateful I am for the knowledge that my Savior loves me - even if I am uptight and starchy.  Once again, I can look to my children as an example of Christlike behavior.  What a blessing.

 Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 17

Being Together is What Makes it Perfect

What a blessed week I have had.  My family was together for the first time in many years.  Although there was some sadness due to the reason that we were all gathered, there was also much laughter and joy.  We played games and went sight-seeing and to restaurants.  We drove and drove and drove.  In every room of my home, there were people watching movies or playing games or sleeping.  It was sheer madness and complete bliss, all at the same time.

The logistics of making sure that everyone would be able to come was quite a lot of work.  We used nearly every form of transportation available - planes, trains and cars.  Trying to make sure that everyone was picked up and dropped off at the appropriate times was quite challenging.  Everyone arrived and departed at different times and some on different days.  There were multiple trips to Salt Lake City, at all hours of the day and night.  It was quite an experience, but one that I wouldn't change for anything.  There were a few miracles that allowed all of my brothers and sisters to come, and for that I'm very grateful.  I can't imagine having had this experience without any one of them.  It may have still been a great week, but it would have felt incomplete.  Being together is what made it perfect.

When Jesus came to visit the Nephites after his crucifixion, he told them:

And verily I say unto you, that ye are they of whom I said:  Other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd. (3 Nephi 15:21)

This made me think of my family being gathered together from all over the United States and what a great blessing that was.  Even though it wasn't easy bringing everyone to the same place, we did it and reaped amazing blessings.  If I could feel this much joy at having my family all around me, as one, imagine the joy that Heavenly Father and Jesus will feel when all of their family is finally gathered from "the four quarters of the earth"(3 Nephi 16:5).  I'm positive that my joy pales in comparison.

Jesus explained to the Nephites that there will still other people to whom he must manifest himself unto and minister amongst.  

But I have received a commandment of the Father that I shall go unto them, and that they shall hear my voice, and shall be numbered among my sheep, that there may be one fold and one shepherd; therefore I go to show myself unto them. (3 Nephi 16:3)

It was very important to Him to minister to all people.  To gather all of his people together as one.  He knew that the words of Isaiah must be fulfilled, in which Isaiah prophesied that "the Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of God."(3 Nephi 16:20, Isaiah 52:10)  All the ends of the earth.  Not just a selected nation.  His purpose is to gather us into one fold, with one shepherd.  What an amazing day this will be.  It will not be the same if anyone is missing.  After all, being together is what makes it perfect.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 15

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 16

Perfect Love

©Darrell Wyatt

One of my favorite things about the Christmas season is watching my kids, and all other kids for that matter, write down their Christmas wish lists.  They have such hope and sparkle in their eyes.  They are just sure that whatever they ask for will magically end up under the Christmas tree, wrapped in paper and ribbons.  And oh, how I want to give them everything they ask for.  Unfortunately, the reality of it is that I (and most parents) just can't afford to make every Christmas dream come true.  If I could do it, I most certainly would.

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (3 Nephi 14:11)

I really love this comparison of me, an earthly mother, to my Father in Heaven as a parent.  At first, I questioned the Savior's choice of wording here - I don't consider myself evil!  As I reflected on it, though, I interpret it to mean that I am imperfect. As a mom, I'm still learning so much every day about how to treat my children.  I don't always do the right thing.  Heavenly Father, however, is perfect.  He knows exactly how to be the perfect parent.  So, if I, an imperfect parent, desire to give my children every good thing that they ask for, imagine how much more so Heavenly Father wants to do the very same thing.  

Each morning or night or whenever I pray to Him, I am kind of like a little child giving Him my wish list.  If I desire things that are good, Heavenly Father will grant those desires to me.  He truly wants me to be happy.  I think of the love that I have toward my children, and I can't imagine feeling a stronger love.  That love that I feel, though, is a drop in the bucket compared to the perfect love that my Father in Heaven has for me.  What an incredible feeling that is - to know that I am loved that much.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 14

Everything Will Work Out

©Darrell Wyatt

In two days, my entire family will be together for the first time in seven years.  We've all seen each other individually at various times during those seven years, but we've not all been together.  While I'm extremely excited about this reunion, albeit under sad circumstances, I've also been a complete basket-case trying to get everything ready.  My house will be kind of the home base, since I'm the only member of my family that lives here, so I've been busy cleaning and figuring out sleeping arrangements and menus and entertainment.  It's also been very stressful for the family that is traveling.  The thing about funerals is that they never come at a convenient time.  Suddenly, flights need to be arranged, time from work must be taken.  In some cases, childcare has to be scheduled.  Everyone is a little on edge, trying to figure out time and finances - and all of this has to be done while dealing with the emotions that inevitably take over when someone you love passes away.

I love the scriptures.  It seems that no matter what is happening on any given day in my life, the things that I read apply directly to me.  This morning, I was dreading getting out of bed.  There is still so very much to do - laundry and dishes and baking and scrubbing - and I just didn't know how I was going to get everything done.  I did my scripture reading while the kids were showering and getting ready for school, because I knew that if I didn't get it done right away, it wasn't going to happen.  I sort of rushed through, having to go back and start over a few times when I found that my mind had wandered to my chore list.  And then there it was:

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 

Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself...(3 Nephi 13:31-32, 34)

"Don't worry, Heather.  I know what you need.  I know you're stressed, but I'm here.  Everything will work out."  What a blessing to have a Father in Heaven who knows me.  He knew exactly what I needed today.  Answers to prayers come in so many different forms, and I'm so grateful that mine came in reading the scriptures.  Everything will work out.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 13

Give Heed

It was the Conference talk heard 'round the world.  I knew as soon as President Packer uttered the words, "Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone" that there would be a harsh and immediate response.  I even told my husband that we could expect to see that on the evening news.  And I was right.  The response was immediate - even before that session of conference ended, the cyber-world was ablaze with comments both against President Packer and in support.  Groups were formed on both sides of the issue.  Protests were planned.  This was not surprising to me in the least, as the LDS Church's stance on gay marriage has brought an abundance of criticism recently.  What was surprising to me, however, was that there were people very close to me who were questioning President Packer's ability to lead the church.

I can't even begin to try and interpret President Packer's comments.  It is entirely possible that he believes that homosexuality is a learned trait, rather than an inborn quality.  But couldn't it also be possible that he simply misspoke?  He edited the text version of his talk to "clarify his intent", and I choose to believe that since he took that particular phrase out, his intent was not to say that homosexuality can be learned or unlearned.

Because I am not gay, nor do I have a super close relationship with any members of the gay community, I will not pretend to know how President Packer's talk affected any one of them.  I have only read commentary from gay members of the church which was both supportive and hate filled.  It's a very volatile issue, and I understand that. 

My purpose in this post is not to either agree or disagree with what he said.  Rather, I wanted to express my feelings as to the reaction from those who have questioned his ability to effectively lead the church.  Boyd K. Packer is an apostle of Jesus Christ.  He is also a man.  Whether he believes what he said or whether he simply misspoke does not take away from his discipleship.  He was called by the Lord to serve Him and to serve us as members of the church.

...and behold, he stretched forth his hand unto the multitude, and cried unto them, saying:  Blessed are ye if ye shall give heed unto the words of these twelve whom I have chosen from among you to minister unto you, and to be your servants;...(3 Nephi 12:1)

I do not believe that we must follow blindly.  I think that it's sometimes appropriate and necessary to question what an apostle says.  We can take our questions to the Lord.  We can take them to our local leadership.  Anything that we ask the Lord, in faith, will be answered - especially questions about the direction that His servants are taking the church.  To openly question an apostle's ability to lead the church is, to me, to question the very judgment of Jesus Christ in calling his disciples.  Not the kind of slope I want to be caught sliding down.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 12