My (miserable, wonderful, hard, rewarding) Job

Behold, it is expedient that much should be done among this people, because of the hardness of their hearts, and the deafness of their ears, and the blindness of their minds, and the stiffness of their necks; nevertheless, God is exceedingly merciful unto them, and has not as yet swept them off from the face of the land.(Jarom 1:3)

The last time I read the Book of Mormon, I remember reading this verse on a particularly hard mom-of-a-teenage-daughter day.  I had really had enough of the deafness of her ears and the blindness of her mind.  I was ready to get out my broom and sweep her off the face of the land.  She didn't think it was as funny as I did.  

Today, as I was reading, the teenager comparison was still in my mind (maybe because I had written "teenagers" and a little smiley face in the margin the last time I read), but as I continued to read, I could look at it a little more from my daughter's point of view. "And the laws of the land were exceedingly strict" (Jarom 1:5).  I do have some strict rules for my kids.  Nothing outrageous or harsh, but I am much more strict than some of their friends' parents.  They have a curfew.  They have dating rules ("so lame").  They have certain jobs around the house.  There are limits to cell phone use and video game use.  They have a bedtime (this doesn't seem crazy to me, but believe it or not, they have friends with no set bedtime).  I have to know where they are and who they're with and what they're doing as much as it is possible for me to do so.  I expect respect, not only for me but for other adults and, most importantly, I demand that they respect themselves.  Right now, they certainly are of the opinion that "the laws of the land are exceedingly strict".  

These days, in the world, there is much discussion on parental behavior.  It seems that the general consensus is that we must be our kids' friends.  We must not hinder their growth with things like rules and chores.  We must let them discover who they are by giving them the freedom to explore.  While I agree that kids need some room to explore and to make mistakes, I also firmly believe that without boundaries, it's actually much tougher for them to figure out who they really are.  There is so much coming at them from all directions.  There is no room for inner reflection - only the world telling them what they should wear and what entertainment they should like and ultimately who they should be.

Much like the Lamanites and Nephites were at constant battle with each other, my kids walk out the door every morning to face a battle of their own.  They have to make so many choices!  Who to be with, who to listen to.  They (especially the older kids) battle with me at least a few times a week because they feel that I'm being unreasonable.  Just yesterday, I was "forcing" my daughter to do something that she didn't want to do.  We had made a deal earlier in the day that if she completed this task, she would be able to make some plans for last night.  At the time, she didn't have any specific plans, but I knew that something would inevitably come up, it being a Saturday night and all.  I reminded her many times throughout the day that she'd better get started.  There was always a reason why she would start "in a minute".  Finally, I forced her to begin.  In the middle of the task, a friend invited her to a concert, for which she would be leaving any minute.  My daughter begged and pleaded with me to let her go, even though the job wasn't done.  I wouldn't budge.  Because I was standing my ground, I was dubbed "ridiculous" and "lame" and I believe a "stupid" or two was thrown in there.  I didn't flinch.  Now don't think that I never flinch, because sometimes do I not only flinch, I explode.  But last night, I didn't flinch.  I helped her finish the job, and we got it done just in time for her to still be able to go to the concert with her friend.  Suddenly, I was the best mom ever.  Only in fairytales and motherhood can one be a wicked witch, a superhero and a princess - all in the same day.

Parenting is hard.  Parenting done correctly is harder.  It's not easy to enforce rules and expect good behavior.  Kids will be kids.  But, because I love them, I make rules.  I want them to succeed.  Just as the Lord said, "Inasmuch as ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land" (Jarom 1:9), I know that if I make and enforce just and fair rules for my kids, they will prosper by following them.  My parents were strict.  They expected many of the same things of me as I expect of my kids.  At times I did think the rules were unreasonable.  But now, having kids of my own, I can see the wisdom of my parents and the boundaries they set, and I am so grateful for them.

Wherefore, the prophets, and the priests, and the teachers, did labor diligently, exhorting with all long-suffering the people to diligence;...

...for they did prick their hearts with the word, continually stirring them up unto repentance. (Jarom 1:11-12)    

Labor diligently.  Exhort.  Be long-suffering.  Continually.  Just as the prophets and teachers of old did not give up, I cannot give up.  My job is too important!  It's hard work, and it is worth every ounce of  labor and long-suffering.  I think I'll keep that broom in the closet for a little while longer.

The Mountain of the Lord's House

©Darrell Wyatt

I have a temple 3.63 miles from my front door.  I know, because I just mapped it.  According to the map, it would take me 12 minutes to get from my house to the Logan Temple.  In fact, if I were to travel around 8 hours in any direction, I could have the pick of 24 temples.  Eight hours!  Twenty-four temples!  I've heard stories of people who sell everything they have and travel for days, just to be able to attend the temple one time.

Isaiah foretold of the building of temples in the last days:

And it shall come to pass in the last days, when the mountain of the Lord's house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills, and all nations shall flow unto it.

And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob...(2 Nephi 12:2-3)

And people are coming from all nations.  Right now, there are 178 temples, including the ones just announced or under construction.  There are temples on all but one continent.  That is incredible to me.  

I remember watching General Conference in 1998, when President Hinckley made this announcement:

As I have previously indicated, in recent months we have traveled far out among the membership of the Church. I have been with many who have very little of this world's goods. But they have in their hearts a great burning faith concerning this latter-day work. They love the Church. They love the gospel. They love the Lord and want to do His will. They are paying their tithing, modest as it is. They make tremendous sacrifices to visit the temples. They travel for days at a time in cheap buses and on old boats. They save their money and do without to make it all possible.

They need nearby temples--small, beautiful, serviceable temples.

Accordingly, I take this opportunity to announce to the entire Church a program to construct some 30 smaller temples immediately. They will be in Europe, in Asia, in Australia and Fiji, in Mexico and Central and South America and Africa, as well as in the United States and Canada. They will have all the necessary facilities to provide the ordinances of the Lord's house. (Gordon B. Hinckley, April 1998)

Goosebumps.  At the time that he said this, there were 51 operating temples and 17 under construction, with these 30 smaller temples bringing the total number to 98.  Then he said, "I think we had better add 2 more to make it an even 100 by the end of this century."  I remember thinking that this was almost an unreachable goal.  The Church was almost 170 years old, and only 51 temples had been built.  President Hinckley wanted to double that amount in just two years!  Here we are, 17 years after his talk, and 125 more temples have been built or announced since then.  What a testimony to me of the greatness of having a living prophet on this earth.  Just as Isaiah did almost 2700 years ago, President Hinckly knew, without a doubt, that this almost impossible undertaking would be possible.  He knew that all nations needed to be able to attend the temple.  And knew that this would make it much easier for them to do so.  I can only imagine the excitement of those in other countries who were watching conference or who read his words later in church magazines.  I bet the feeling of gratitude was overwhelming.  The Lord had remembered them!  He knew of their desire to perform temple ordinances and to move the gospel forward.  He knew them.

Prophets and temples and prophesies fulfilled. What a glorious dispensation in which to live!

This Wilderness of Mine

 I've spent some time this week thinking about the wilderness.  Lehi and his family had traveled for eight years in the wilderness at this point in my reading.  Nephi writes, "And we did travel and wade through much affliction in the wilderness;".  I'm sure it was miserable!  And adding to it, their wives bore children during those eight years. Nephi's very next statement is so touching to me - "And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us..."  He was so grateful that they'd had enough food along the way that their wives were able to nurse the babies, and that they remained strong and did not murmur.

And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness. (1Nephi 17:3)

While Lehi and his family faced a literal wilderness on their journey to the promised land, I believe that each one of us has our own figurative wilderness that we must wade through on our journey back to our Father in Heaven.  Whether this journey is through trials of poor health, poor finances, death of a loved one or something else, it is our personal wilderness. Sometimes, we feel completely alone and utterly helpless.  It can be a very dark and barren place if we let it.

©Darrell Wyatt

I know that when I have felt the most down, the most tired, the most alone, I have sometimes forgotten that I am never, ever truly alone.  I forget that there is One who loves me above all, who wants the best for me, and who can look past my many faults.  

I have a quote on the wall of my entry way:  "This time, like all times, is a very good one if you know what to do with it."  Every time I look at this wall, it helps me to remember the lessons I've learned from my struggles.  When I've struggled the most financially, I have learned to be frugal.  I learned to make meals that I wouldn't have tried had we not struggled.  When I've struggled with depression, I learned that I have a husband and children who love me and will help me through.  When I've struggled with having a special needs child, I've learned patience and tolerance and love.

My wilderness is unique to me.  Only I can figure out what tools I need to make it through this journey.  But I am not alone. I need to lean on my Heavenly Father for help.  I need to be worthy to receive that help by keeping the commandments and following His plan for me.  I need to never be "slow to remember" the Lord.  I will make it!  I will forge my path through this wilderness of mine and I will make it to the promised land - back home with my Father and Heaven and my eternal family.

And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.
(1 Nephi 17:13)

Back to the Books

A couple of months ago, we had a Family Home Evening lesson about the importance of the scriptures. I asked the kids to pick their favorite scripture and, without telling anyone what it was, draw a picture that represented it. After all of the pictures were drawn, they took turns seeing if the rest of the family could guess their favorite scripture by just looking at the drawing. This one was my favorite:

My son held his picture up, and we were stumped. What could it be? A pinata was the most common guess, but we knew that there were very few scripture references to pinatas, so that couldn't be it. He finally tired of waiting for us to guess correctly and told us that his favorite scripture is 1 Nephi 4:6 which says, "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." Can you see it now?

I also love this scripture. Nephi and his brothers had gone back to Jerusalem to retrieve the plates of brass. After one unsuccessful attempt by his brother, Nephi went into the city. Not knowing how he was going to accomplish this task, he displayed incredible faith by following the spirit. And the rest, as they say, is history. Because Nephi was able to retrieve the plates, his family's genealogy was preserved and the records were able to "go forth unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people."

I'm at the beginning of a journey of my own. I felt prompted that now is the time for me to go back to school, and about two weeks ago I followed that prompting. I feel like Nephi, being "led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand" how I will accomplish this hard thing. I have many, many reasons why now is NOT the time to begin a four or five year adventure - all of my six kids are still at home, including one with special needs and one who is struggling to figure out her place in the world and is still really dependent on us. I don't know if we will be able to financially handle it. I don't know how I will find the time between soccer and gymnastics and basketball and running forgotten papers and lunches to school. There really are so many reasons that it won't work. There is, however, one very important reason that it WILL work: the Lord is on my side. I know that it is His will that I follow this path at this particular time and that He will prepare the way for me, as he did for Nephi.

"For behold, he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier" than all of my excuses and tendencies to procrastinate? I know I will not be alone in my journey, and I am so very grateful for that knowledge.