Friday, October 5, 2012

Time Out for Tears


Copyright Darrell J. Wyatt - All Rights Reserved

I pulled into the parking stall at the grocery store, put the car in park and leaned my head against the headrest.  Without warning, my eyes welled with tears.  The people walking from their cars to the store and from the store to their cars became a blur.  I was so tired.  I had stopped to grab a few groceries after dropping my son at football practice and my daughter at volleyball, and before running another daughter to soccer and then starting the pick-up round.  I decided to sit until I got my emotions under control, and I sent a text to my husband.  "I just need a day of nothing," I said.  "Sunday can't get here soon enough."  He replied that he was sorry and asked what was wrong.  Through tears, I typed that it was just the normal running around and that I was just probably exhausted.  I knew that I was being silly and that it was just the four hours of sleep I got the night before that was taking its toll, but I couldn't seem to stop the waterworks.

"Heavenly Father," I silently prayed, "I don't think I can do this anymore.  I'm trying so hard, but I am SO tired.  I want to keep up our morning scripture study, but I really don't know if I can."  I opened my eyes and  was almost ready to venture in to grab a few things, but I still needed a moment to compose myself.  By habit, and for the hundredth time that day, I checked my email.  Normal junk - coupons, ads, newsletters - greeted me, but there was one from an unfamiliar sender.  I opened the file and began to read, and whatever composure I had regained disappeared in an instant.  The email was in response to a contest I had entered more than a month before.  I had sent in a blog post detailing our early-morning scripture reading adventure, and I had won!  My prize was two front row seats at an upcoming inspirational women's conference and lunch with the conference presenters.  A two-day break from my hectic life to be uplifted and inspired.

I realized that, had I given up on our morning routine, I would not have this amazing opportunity.  Even more than that, though, I realized that my Heavenly Father knows ME.  He knew what I needed at that exact moment.  He heard my cry.  He knows my name.  What a profound and instant realization.  What an incredible blessing.