Here's the entry from six months ago. Thanks for letting me share it again.
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Today was just one of those days. Now, usually that sentence carries with it quite a bit of negative connotation, but not today. It's a great day! And it's only 9:18 am.
I woke up late (par for my usual course) and, after a mad scramble to find four pairs of socks - only one of which ended up being a matching pair - had to shove my kids out the door so that they wouldn't miss the (thankfully also late) bus. Normally, a start like this would send the rest of my day into an ever-increasing downward spiral. Today, however, I made one small decision that changed that. I decided to do my scripture reading FIRST, instead of trying to fit it in between chores and exercising and Facebooking.
A little background: I am NOT an avid scripture studier. At least I haven't been until a couple of months ago. I made a goal at the beginning of the year to try to read my scriptures every day. I haven't been 100% successful, but I've done pretty well and am actually really enjoying it.
Anyhoooo...back to this morning.
My reading today was Alma, chapters 24-26. There are some days where I just muddle through my reading so that I can make a checkmark on my little reading chart, and there are some days where I find myself totally immersed in what I'm reading. Today was one of those days.
Chapters 24 and 25 are the typical "Lamanite/Nephite war-lots of people die-lots of people get converted" chapters. Good reading, but nothing compared to what I was about to read. Chapter 26 is Ammon glorying in the Lord. "...could we have supposed when we started...that God would have granted unto us such great blessings?"
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story of Ammon in the Book of Mormon, a little background. Ammon and his brothers, much to the dismay of their friends and families, went on missions to teach the Lamanites - who were pretty stinkin' evil at this point in the BOM. People made fun of them for going and said that there was no way the Lamanites would be converted, but they went anyway. Long story short, they were all captured in the various cities in which they decided to preach. Some were imprisoned and tortured. Some became servants to the Lamanite kings. None of them had it easy, but all of them had their lives spared and ended up converting thousands of Lamanites.
So in Chapter 26, Ammon is rejoicing and talking about their success, when his brother Aaron told him that he shouldn't be so boastful. Ammon tells him that he is not boasting of himself but boasting of God: "in his strength I can do all things". Later he says "Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord?"
In the same chapter in which he's rejoicing in the Lord and feeling blessed, he speaks of their tribulations: "We have been cast out, and mocked, and spit upon, and smote upon our cheeks; and we have been stoned, and taken and bound with strong cords, and cast into prison..." And after all of this, Ammon is still rejoicing and showing gratitude.
The verse that really struck a chord with me is verse 27: "Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go...and bear with patience thine afflictions and I will give unto you success."
Without going into too many unnecessary details, let me just say that I have suffered from some pretty deep depression for the last seven years. I have been on anti-deps for more than half of that time. At the beginning of this year, I made some changes (scripture reading being just one) that have helped to begin to pull me from that pit. I have felt so good these past few months that I worry sometimes that I will fall back in and never feel this good again. I can say that I did have some legitimate reasons to be depressed, but I have never "been cast out, and mocked, and spit upon, and smote upon my cheeks; and been stoned, and taken and bound with strong cords, and cast into prison..." like Ammon and his brothers. And yet, after all they suffered, they rejoiced. What an example to me.
There are days that I feel sorry for myself, and there are days where I can rejoice and thank God for my many many blessings. Today is one of those days.
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