Steadfast AND Popular

Popularity is such a fickle thing, but it's oh so important to my kids.  Some of them more so than others.  My middle son, for example, is very comfortable with who he is.  So much so, in fact, that if he can't find his gloves on a snowy day, he has no problem putting on his sister's hot pink ones.  When his bike broke, he was just fine riding the pink flowery bike that his little sister abandoned.  He'll wear one tall green sock with a short white one.  He just doesn't worry about what other people think.  On the other hand, my youngest daughter will have a complete meltdown over such things as her shoes not being the exact right shade to match her jacket.  It will take twenty minutes to convince her that every piece of her hair does not have to lay exactly the same way.  She will come home completely devastated because her friend at school played with someone else at recess.  The importance of being popular doesn't fall down boy/girl lines with my kids.  While my oldest daughter longs to be popular, her priorities are with other things.  My youngest son feels that push to be liked by everyone he meets.

In today's reading, there was a man, Nehor, who went about the land trying to convince the priests of the church that they needed to seek popularity - that they were above the rest of the people and should not have to do things like labor with their hands.  He convinced many people that all of them would have eternal life, no matter what they did.  A lot of them believed him.

Nehor's words appealed to many of the people; they were easy words because they required neither obedience nor sacrifice.  As we face many decisions in life, the easy and popular messages of the world will seem appealing.  But when these worldly messages contradict gospel teachings and the still, small voice of the Spirit, we can be 100 percent confident that they are wrong.  Still, it will take great courage to choose the right (L.Tom Perry, Living with Enthusiam, 108-9).

 

With my teenage daughter's first Homecoming dance coming up in a couple of days, I'm reminded of an experience that I had when I was her age.  It was the night of the Homecoming Football game – a cold October night, warmed by the adrenaline of the team and the spirit of the crowd.  It was halftime, and I was sitting in a red convertible with the other nominees for Homecoming Queen, waiting to be driven around the field before the announcement was made.  It was such a surreal experience, like a dream.  As the car started moving forward, I could feel the cold wind hitting my cheeks and blowing my carefully styled hair and I started to think about the moments leading to this night.

I lived in a tiny town in Eastern Washington.  So tiny was it, that I was one of twenty people in my senior class.  Other than myself and my sister and brother, there was only one active member of the church in the whole high school.  

I didn’t “hang out” with my friends very much, rarely wore the latest fashions and mostly kept to myself - which is why the nomination for Homecoming Queen came as such a surprise.  I never felt like part of the “in” crowd.  Yet, as that red convertible came around the final turn in the football field, here I was.  In a beautiful red dress, sitting next to some of the most popular girls in school.  My dad, who never attended the high school football games (it was one of the few sports in which a child wasn’t participating), was sitting in the bleachers.  He had come just to watch the halftime ceremony. 

As the car came to a stop, our football player dates helped us down and gave each of us a rose.  It was time for the announcement.  Could I dare dream to be the Homecoming Queen?   “And the Homecoming Queen is…..”  Not me.  One of the most popular girls was crowned the Queen.  I smiled through my disappointment, gave my dad a hug and climbed on the back of the car to be carried off the field.  I watched the rest of the football game and then walked sullenly home where I told my parents goodnight and went straight up to my room.  As I opened the door, I stepped on a piece of paper that had been folded neatly and slid underneath.  I picked it up and plopped down on my bed to see what it was.  I read:

Heather-

As I watched you ride onto the football field tonight in that beautiful red car, I could see the smile and the expectation on your face and I was very, very proud.  You looked so beautiful.  The flowers you held were nothing compared to the beautiful young woman who carried them.  I wanted everyone to know that you were my daughter.  I couldn’t have been more proud.

I know that you wanted to be Queen very badly, and I wanted you to be queen just (or almost) as much.  I know that you must be disappointed.  But I am not disappointed at all, because, to me, you will always be Queen, princess, and everything good all rolled into one.  Those other girls could not and do not hold a candle to you – so try not to be too discouraged, because to your mom and me – YOU ARE THE BEST!

                                                                        I love you-

                                                                                    Dad

In that moment, all of the sadness and disappointment melted away.  I knew that my Dad was proud of me and imagined that if my Heavenly Father could write me a letter, it would say much the same thing.  I was (and still am) a daughter of God.  I always did my best to “stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places”, and my father recognized that.

 

If I could convey anything to my kids, it would be that popularity is indeed a fickle thing.   What is "in" one day may not be the next.  What is important is who they are and that they be "steadfast and immovable in keeping the commandments of God" and that they bear with patience their trials (Alma 1:25).  I know that, as a child, that is much easier said than done.  There will always be that pull, that absolute need to feel a part of the crowd.  The people that I read about today, who decided not to follow Nehor were very popular with their people because they were just normal people. 

 And they did impart of their substance, every man according to that which he had, to the poor, and the needy, and the sick, and the afflicted; and they did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely. (Alma 1:27)

I happen to believe that my kids can be both popular and steadfast at the same time, and I hope that I can do a good job of teaching them that.

 

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 1

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 2