 |
| ©Darrell Wyatt |
I've struggled this morning with this post because I know that the things I need to say are of such a personal nature that it makes me a little uncomfortable. Of course, I intended for this blog to be about me and about my thoughts, which makes it inherently personal anyway, but I'm feeling a little anxiety about this particular post.
Seven years ago, this month, my husband and I made the decision to have him quit his job and become self-employed. It was quite an adventure, to say the least. We had so many blessings and so many trials, all at the same time. In the end, it was too much for me to deal with, so after nearly five years we sold the business and moved back into the corporate world. While much of the stress I had to deal with disappeared with the business, the bills did not. Advertising costs, taxes, and other expenses have resurfaced now and then, making it very tough to make ends meet sometimes.
During each of these periods of financial drought, we have had to make tough choices in how to prioritize where our money went. More often than not, we chose to pay bills before we paid tithing, feeling that we had no other choice. Please understand - I have an enormous testimony of tithing. There have been many times in my life where I have been greatly blessed for paying my tithing. I think what has been lacking is my faith. When it came down to it, could I pay my tithing and my bills - probably not. So I didn't.
Quite a few months ago, we were in the middle of another mess. I had fasted and prayed to see what we could do to get on top of things - to be able to make it through this, yet again. I often wonder if Heavenly Father gets a little wearied with my money requests. I can imagine him saying, "Again? You didn't learn from the last time?". I'm a slow-learner, I guess. Anyway, a few days after I had fasted, the Ensign magazine came in my mail. I rarely open the magazine on the first day it comes, but this time I had a few minutes so I sat down and flipped through it. Almost immediately, an article stood out. It was entitled "Tithing - a Commandment Even for the Destitute", and it was a snippet of an April 2005 General Conference address by Elder Lynn G. Robbins of the Seventy. It talked of a visit that President Hinckley made to the people of Central America after Hurricane Mitch in 1998. These people had lost everything - food, clothing, household goods.
And like the prophet Elijah to a starving widow, this modern prophet's message in each city was similar - to sacrifice and be obedient to the law of tithing.
But how can you ask someone so destitute to sacrifice? President Hinckley knew that the food and clothing shipments they received would help them survive the crisis, but his concern and love for them went far beyond that. As important as humanitarian aid is, he knew that the most important assistance comes from God, not from man. The prophet wanted to help them unlock the windows of heaven as promised by the Lord in the book of Malachi.
President Hinckley taught them that if they would pay their tithing, they would always have food on their tables, they would always have clothing on their backs, and they would always have a roof over their heads.(June 2010 Ensign, pg 71)
I felt as if those words were meant for me. While I was not destitute, as the people of Central America were, I was definitely feeling the weight of my financial bondage. The struggles that I was having at this time were a result of poor decision-making in the past. I was paying the consequences of my own actions. Nevertheless, Heavenly Father was answering my prayers and showing me the way to free myself. How could I not respond to that? My husband and I immediately made the decision that we would pay our tithing first - no matter what. We knew that the rest would work itself out. And it has. There is no way that our budget works on paper. There is no way that we should be able to pay our bills and eat and pay tithing. But it is working. We are being blessed for our faithfulness.
There are many types of bondage - financial bondage, physical bondage, spiritual bondage, emotional bondage, and the list goes on. Sometimes this bondage is a result of our own choices, like mine, and sometimes it happens through no fault or control of our own, like the victims of Hurricane Mitch.
But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this,he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.(Mosiah 7:33)
I know this to be true. I know that whatever challenge presents itself in my life, I am not alone. The Lord is there to deliver me. It may not be in the time-frame that I'd like, but it will be done according to the Lord's will. What an incredible blessing.
No comments:
Post a Comment