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| ©Darrell Wyatt |
Perception is a strange thing. I'm finding that my perception of certain events can be far different from someone else's. This has become especially evident to me during the last couple of days. Someone that I love very dearly has become angry with me because of the way she perceived some things that I said. She told me that I was judgmental and came across as thinking that I'm better than her. Some of the things that she interpreted me to say were so completely off base that it really floored me. I literally can't stop thinking about it.
I've gone over and over in my mind the things that she accused me of saying, and while I know without a doubt that I didn't say or even mean those things, there's no disputing the fact that that's what she heard. And therein lies the problem. Even though I have done my best to explain my side, the damage has been done. Hopefully, in time, she will come to the realization that I love her with all my heart and would never want to see her in the pain that she's in right now. Maybe that time will come, and maybe it will not. All I can do is pray that her heart will be softened and that I will learn from this experience.
So what can I learn? I'm not sure that I would change anything that I said, because I meant all of it with the greatest love, but she did not see that. And why couldn't she see that? Perhaps it was because I have not let her feel enough of that love previous to our encounter. If I had, maybe her perception would have been entirely different. Going forward from here, I can only try to do better at conveying the immense love I have for those around me. If I can let everyone I have contact with feel of my love for them, maybe they won't be so quick to be offended if I misspeak or say something that could be interpreted in a way other than it was meant.
But what if I the relationship becomes so damaged that it feels as if there is no repair? What then?
...unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them. (3 Nephi 18:32)
Lest this be perceived as me saying that my friend is the one that needs to repent, let me clarify how I "likened" the scriptures to my current situation. As I was reading this, I felt as if I was being told, "Just keep loving her." If I just keep loving her, no matter the hurtful things she said to me, perhaps someday she will be able to forgive me for the things that she felt I said or did. If I don't continue to show my love for her, she may never be able to get past this anger, which could hinder her progression. I must do all that I can to let her feel of my love to give her a route to forgive me.
And I give you these commandments because of the disputations which have been among you. And blessed are ye if ye have no disputations among you. (3 Nephi 18:34)
Hopefully, sooner rather than later, we will be able to put this dispute behind us and feel the blessings that come from doing so.
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