True Integrity

©Darrell Wyatt

This morning as I was reading, I learned of the absolute integrity that Mormon possessed.  The kind of integrity that is, unfortunately, so rare.  Mormon knew that his people were going to be destroyed because of their wickedness.  He tried with all his might to preach repentance to them, but to no avail.  They continued to boast in their own strength when they won sporadic battles against the Lamanites.  They delighted in their riches, and went to war for unrighteous reasons.  He knew that they would have to be swept off the face of the earth, as had been foretold, and he sorrowed greatly because of this knowledge.  Yet, when he was again appointed to lead these armies, he did so with honor.  Instead of putting himself halfheartedly into his duties, he led the armies with  every ounce of courage and strength that he could muster.

Knowing that the coming battle would be the last, Mormon hid the plates away from the Lamanites.  He knew that if the records fell into the wrong hands, they would be destroyed.  But he did not bury all of the plates.  He understood that there would need to be a continued record of the events to follow, so he left a few plates to his son Mormon.  Even in this, he showed extreme integrity.  He was called on by the Lord to keep a record of the happenings of his time.  Facing certain death, he continued this record.  Could I have done the same?  I'm not sure.

If my math is right, over 230,000 Nephites died in this, the last battle.  According to Mormon's count, there were twenty-four left alive, including himself and his son, Moroni.

And my soul was rent with anguish, because of the slain of my people, and I cried:

O ye fair ones, how could ye have departed from the ways of the Lord!  O ye fair ones, how could ye have rejected that Jesus, who stood with open arms to receive you!

Behold, if ye had not done this, ye would not have fallen. But behold, ye are fallen, and I mourn your loss.

O ye fair sons and daughters, ye fathers and mothers, ye husbands and wives, ye fair ones, how is it that ye could have fallen!

But behold, ye are gone, and my sorrows cannot bring your return. (Mormon 6:16:20)

I cannot even comprehend the sorrow that Mormon felt, seeing an entire nation wiped out because they wouldn't turn to the Lord in repentance and humility.  He had tried to warn them. He had tried to help them.  But they would not listen.  And now they were gone.

But Mormon did not see their annihilation as the end of his earthly calling.  He continued to call on people to turn to the Lord - to preach to them of Jesus Christ and the blessings that come from belief on Him.  The people that he was preaching to, however, were not even aware yet that he was speaking to them.

And now, behold, I would speak somewhat unto the remnant of this people who are spared, if it so be that God may give unto them my words, that they may know of the things of their fathers; (Mormon 7:1)

He was speaking to the descendants of the few surviving Nephites, and also to anyone who would thereafter read the records that he had written and abridged.  He was, again, speaking to me.

Therefore repent, and be baptized in the name of Jesus, and hold upon the gospel of Christ which shall be set before you, not only in this record but also in the record which shall come unto the Gentiles from the Jews, which record shall come from the Gentiles unto you. (Mormon 7:7)

Mormon wanted us to know that not only did his record testify of Christ, but so did the Bible.  

For behold, this is written for the intent that ye may believe that; and if ye believe that ye will believe this also; and if ye believe this ye will know concerning your fathers, and also the marvelous works which were wrought by the power of God among them.(Mormon 7:8)

He testified of the truthfulness and importance of the Bible.  The whole intent of Mormon's abridgment of the plates into what would become the Book of Mormon was to be another witness that the things in the Bible were true.  That if we would read the Book of Mormon, we would believe the Bible, and if we would believe the Bible, we would believe the Book of Mormon.  That we would have a complete record of the marvelous works which were wrought by the power of God.

Mormon spent his final days magnifying the calling given him by God.  To testify of Christ.  To complete the records of his people.  He could have spent these days in peaceful rest, waiting to be taken to his promised place in the presence of the Lord.  But he did not.  His integrity would not allow it.  

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 6

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 7

Where Everybody Knows My Name

As wonderful and magical as the week of Christmas is, it can also be very stressful.  There are gifts to wrap, cards to deliver, dinners to plan and cook and serve.  There's really a lot to do.  As much as I wanted to focus on the Savior and the real meaning of Christmas, with young children and extended family visiting, that unfortunately got pushed to the back burner for a short time.  I've had some tension headaches and a tweaked neck for the past couple of days, and I'm sure that it's because of the stress of getting everything done.

It was such a nice break to go to church today, after all of that hustle and bustle of trying to get everything done and make everything perfect.  It was great to see neighbors and to again speak of the Savior.  Our ward has a tradition in which, on the last Sunday of the year, the families of missionaries out in the field get to speak and give an update on their missionary.  Today we were blessed to hear from the families of eight elders who are out in the mission field.  The newest missionary has been out for only eleven days, and the longest serving will be coming home next week.  Each had written a letter to the ward.  Some of them talked of specific experiences that they have had thus far in their missions, and others just talked of their love for the Savior and their gratitude for the ability to serve Him.  Every one of them, though, spoke specifically of their love for the ward family that they felt had contributed in their successful missions.  They talked of leaders who had helped them to mature into the men they now are.  One even thanked his piano teacher, a ward member, and said that her instruction had proved to be very useful in the mission field.

As these ward members were speaking, I glanced around the chapel and realized that someday, those words may be coming from my sons.  There were people in that chapel who are definitely playing a large role in the growth of my kids.  Everyone, from their primary teachers to the Bishopric to the youth leaders, will touch my kids lives in a positive way.  And my kids will have a, hopefully, positive influence on other kids around them.  They have many friends in the ward who will grow alongside them and provide a shoulder to lean on when times get tough, as they inevitably do during those growing years.  It's just so comforting to belong to a ward family.

©Darrell Wyatt

I'm still reading in Mormon, and I have to say, I absolute love his writing style.  He's so descriptive.  There was one phrase that really stood out to me during today's reading.  He's talking about the wickedness of the people and how we, the readers of the Book of Mormon will feel upon learning of this wickedness.

...they will sorrow that this people had not repented that they might have been clasped in the arms of Jesus. (Mormon 5:11)

Clasped in the arms of Jesus.  That perfectly describes how I felt at church today.  I felt like all of the stresses of this busy week just melted away, and that I was clasped in His arms.  Being in a place where everyone knows me and we can all come together with one purpose, to worship Him, is such a blessing.  It's a blessing that I hope that everyone at one point in their lives can partake of - to feel that wonderful sense of belonging.  To feel the warmth of being clasped in the arms of Jesus.

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 4

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 5

Listen Up

©Darrell Wyatt

Once a week, almost all of my kids bring home a communication report from school.  Each child's is a bit different, but the general idea is the same.  These reports are to let me know how they're doing in school in various areas - homework, participation in class, relationships with other students, and their overall behavior.  Most of the time, it's just a form letter that comes home and I just sign it and send it back.  Every once in awhile, however, there's a note from the teacher addressed specifically to me about my child.  At first, I didn't really pay attention, because I was so used to the form letter and I didn't notice the extra note.  I'd just sign it, as is my habit, without really paying attention.  When I finally did see that the teacher was trying to get my attention, I was a little embarrassed that I hadn't noticed before.  Now, I pay extra attention each week so that I won't miss anything important again.

I kind of feel like that's what happened as I was reading this morning.  I'm in such a habit of reading (yay!),  and this blog has helped me pay a lot more attention to what I'm reading, but I still sometimes take it for granted.  Sometimes it sort of feels like this:  Keep the commandments, love one another, say your prayers, avoid pride, blah, blah, blah.  Yes, I know it's probably irreverent to use "blah, blah, blah" when describing the word of God, and of course I don't mean it disrespectfully.  But, sometimes as I'm reading, my mind wanders.  It feels like I'm reading the same thing over and over - sort of like my kids' form letter communication reports.  And then, all of a sudden, when I may or may not have been paying good attention, Mormon adds a personal note.

And these things doth the Spirit manifest unto me; therefore I write unto you all.  And for this cause I write unto you, that ye may know that ye must all stand before the judgment-seat of Christ, yea, every soul who belongs to the whole human family of Adam; and ye must stand to be judged of your works, whether they be good or evil;

And also that ye may believe the gospel of Jesus Christ, which ye shall have among you...

And I would that I could persuade all ye ends of the earth to repent and prepare to stand before the judgment-seat of Christ. (Mormon 3:20-22)

Mormon was talking to me.  He had a special message just for me, the reader of the Book of Mormon.  "Hey!  Listen!  I'm writing these things for you.  Pay attention!"  

Mormon was not writing and abridging the plates for the benefit of the people during his time.  He really was doing it for us - for our time.  We need to know of Christ and have a witness of Him even more than Mormon's people.  They had many witnesses and signs and miracles and they did not believe them.  As much as Mormon loved them, he understood that they had become so wicked that they wouldn't appreciate his writings.  He really was writing to me.

The scriptures are very repetitive, but the authors were not just trying to fill up space.  If something is repeated, it's because it's very important for the reader to understand - something that God would have us learn.  We are blessed to have written commandments and prophesies to return to again and again.  Just like my kids communication reports, I'm grateful that I don't have to hear from God only when I've done something wrong.  I can hear his voice daily through the writings of inspired prophets.  That's pretty incredible.  And an amazing blessing.

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 3

Open Windows

 
My son was three when he was diagnosed with autism.  The evaluation process seemed like a long one.  It took months of testing everything from his hearing to testing his blood for lead poisoning and everything in between.  There were what seemed like hours of watching him through a one way mirror, just hoping that he would interact even a little bit with the specialist.  He didn't.  We suspected that autism would be the diagnosis, but when it was actually given, we were still shell-shocked.  We had no idea where to begin, but we knew that we had to start right then.  The therapist told us that as far as autism diagnoses go, we were a little behind schedule.  And with children, every moment matters.  There are certain windows of opportunity that, once closed, are very very hard to reopen.

So we started.  With help from my parents and other family members, we were able to enroll him in a wonderful program about an hour and a half away from home at the University of Utah.  We began by taking him a few times a week, and then once a week and then finally the therapist came to our home to transition us from her care.  That was a scary day.  Knowing that I'd be solely responsible for his growth was very daunting.  With much prayer and many opportunities that have been placed in our paths, though, he has really excelled.  He's still not what most people would consider "normal", but he has come so far from that silent, circle-spinning boy he was twelve years ago.  He struggles with many things that other kids his age don't have to, but he is happy.  And I can't imagine him any other way.  I truly believe that he has come this far because we were able to take advantage of those windows of opportunity that the therapist impressed upon us.

In thinking about it, I know that all children - not just special needs kids - have those windows.  There are windows of time where potty training is  most effective.  There are windows where they learn certain things like reading and math.  Each child's windows may open at a different age, but they all have them.

I was thinking about this as I read about Mormon this morning.  He was just ten years old when he was given the charge to abridge the records of the Nephites into the Book of Mormon.  Ammaron had hidden the plates due to the increasing wickedness of the people.  He told Mormon that he perceived him to be "a sober child" and "quick to observe"(Mormon 1:2).  He instructed him that he needed to observe the happenings of the people and that when he was twenty-four years old, he should go to the place where the plates were hidden and engrave everything he had seen onto the plates of Nephi.

When Mormon was eleven, his father moved him south into the land of Zarahemla.  It was very populated, and war had broken out among the Lamanites and the Nephites.  Mormon described the wickedness of both groups of people:

But wickedness did prevail upon the face of the whole land, insomuch that the Lord did take away his beloved disciples, and the work of miracles and of healing did cease because of the iniquity of the people.

And there were no gifts from the Lord, and the Holy Ghost did not come upon any, because of their wickedness and unbelief. (Mormon 1:13-14)

Everyone around Mormon was incredibly wicked, yet he, as a fifteen year old boy, was able to withstand this wicked influence.  He was so righteous in fact, that he received a visit from the Lord.  He "knew the goodness of Jesus" (Mormon 1:15).

I thought about this a lot.  At Mormon's young age, he probably had an increased susceptibility to be influenced by those around him.  How was he able to shield himself from that influence?  Mormon doesn't talk a lot about his father (also named Mormon), but he must have been a good man.  He taught his son in the ways of his ancestors to be be true to the teachings of Christ and his disciples (Mormon 1:5).  He surely used those windows of opportunity to impress upon his young son the importance of living righteously.  Ammaron also, even if unknowingly, played an important role in Mormon's development into a stalwart young man and adult.  By letting a young boy know of his divine nature and responsibility, Ammaron helped mold Mormon's future.

It was in this same way that my son's therapists and we as parents were able to shape him into the person that he is today.  It is the reason that we have Primary at church, instead of just a glorified day care.  It is most important to teach children while they are young.  While their divine roles and responsibilities can be impressed upon their eager minds.  While their windows are open.

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 1

Click here to read what I read today: Mormon 2

The Heavenly Gift

©Darrell Wyatt

 
Today was our ward choir's Christmas program, and it was beautiful!  The choir sang, violins played, various speakers spoke, and the spirit was definitely very strong.  As I looked over the choir, I took notice of the diversity of the group.  There were stay-at-home moms, students, engineers, school teachers, librarians, retirees and a couple of people who are between jobs.  There were former bishops and high councilmen and primary teachers and Relief Society counselors.  They were as young as ten and as old as sixty-ish.  There were men, women and children.  But when they were singing, they were all the same - just members of the choir. 

And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift. (4 Nephi 1:3)

What a beautiful gift they shared with us, the congregation!  The program was called "Jesus is the Reason for the Season", and all of the songs celebrated his birth and life and Atonement.  The speakers each spoke about what Christmas meant to them.  My daughter was asked to be one of the speakers, and she wrote the following poem to use as part of her talk:

Christ the greatest of us all,
Born in a manger,
Cold and small.
If you could have been there,
What would you share?
What would you give him,
If you were there?
The wise men gave gifts of wealth,
Heavenly father gave gifts of health.
What do we have,
In the small lives we live?
What on earth,
Could we possibly give?
The shepherds gave all they could,
We only need to do as we should.
Give him all your soul and heart,
Try with all your might to do your part.
I think that would be the best to give,
To live the lives he'd want us to live.

I think she really captured the meaning behind Christmas.  God's gift to us was his only begotten son.  Christ's gift to us was his life.  What will our gift to him be?

In the first few generations after Christ visited the Nephites, the people lived together as one.  There was no envy.  There was no strife.  There was just peace.  "And surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God" (4 Nephi 1:16).  As a parent, the greatest gift that I could ever receive is to have happy children.  I'm sure God is no different.  Just like my daughter said, we only need to do as we should.  If everyone is living the lives that we have been asked to live, we would be as one.  We could have all things in common amongst ourselves.  We would be happy.  That is the greatest gift we can give Him - not just this holiday season, but all year long.

Click here to read what I read today: 4 Nephi

Search, Ponder, and Pray

©Darrell Wyatt

I've spent a lot of time the last two days pondering the things that I read about the Three Nephites.

 Therefore, that they might not taste of death there was a change wrought upon their bodies, that they might not suffer pain nor sorrow save it it were for the sins of the world. (3Nephi 28:38)

First, I thought about why they would have been granted their desire of never tasting death.  Jesus knew of this desire before they even spoke it, so he must have understood the reasons behind it.  He must have known that they wished only to live forever that they might be able to continue preaching of Him and ministering to people.  That they would only use their immortality for righteousness.

The part of the chapter that I've been really thinking the most about is that Jesus promised them that they would never suffer pain or sorrow, "save it were for the sins of the world".  At first glance, this seems like the perfect life.  They would never know physical pain.  They could not be harmed.  In fact, I learned from reading that they were cast into prison, cast into pits, cast into a furnace (3 times!), and cast into a den of wild beasts twice.  The prison walls collapsed, the pits were not deep enough to hold them, they received no harm from the furnaces, and they were found playing with the wild beasts "as a child with a suckling lamb".  Nothing could hurt them.  They would never know the pain of death.  There was "a change wrought upon them, insomuch that Satan could have no power over them, that he could not tempt them; and they were sanctified in the flesh, that they were holy, and the the powers of the earth could not hold them"(3 Nephi 28:39).  Sounds marvelous.

As I was thinking though, I couldn't wrap my mind around them not feeling sorrow, "save it were for the sins of the world".  I've felt some physical pain in my life - childbirth, broken bones, cuts, burns, things like that.  I've also felt sorrow.  I've felt sorrow at the death of a loved one.  I've felt the sorrow of watching a friend slowly waste away because of disease.  I've also experienced a little sorrow because of the suffering of people I care about due to choices they've made in their lives.  I think that might be the worst kind of sorrow, because unlike death or disease, sin can be avoided.  If given the chance to decide, I think that there are many times that physical pain would be preferable to feeling that kind of sorrow. 

So why would Jesus take away everything but that?  Why would he allow the Three Nephites to escape everything but sorrow for the sins of the world?  If anyone knew the pain of that kind of sorrow, it was Jesus Christ.  Just days earlier, he had bled from every pore because he took upon himself the sins of the world.  The only thing that I could conclude after careful thought and prayer, is that they needed to feel that sorrow.  Perhaps it is the motivation that they need to keep going.  They have lived through some incredible and horrific times these last almost two thousand years.  They have seen the cycles of righteousness and wickedness. I've wondered these last two days if it ever becomes overwhelming to them - the sorrow that they must feel for the increasingly sinful nature of the world.  Or are they too busy bringing "the souls of men unto" Christ to be overwhelmed? 

And for this cause ye shall have fulness of joy; and ye shall sit down in the kingdom of my Father; yea, your joy shall be full, even as the Father hath given me fulness of joy; and ye shall be even as I am...(3 Nephi 28:10)

Because of the great sorrow that these men must feel, the joy that they will experience at the coming of Christ will be all the more sweet.  They will "live to behold all the doings of the Father unto the children of men".  The will see both joy and sorrow in prophesies being fulfilled.  They will truly earn their eternal reward.  Because they have seen the utmost sorrow, they will feel the utmost joy. 

I don't think I've ever spent as much time pondering any scripture passage as I have this one.  Even as I was typing my thoughts, I wasn't sure what Heavenly Father would have me learn from reading these chapters.  Until right now.  There are two thoughts that just came into my head.  First, I realized that no one is exempt from sorrow.  Jesus Christ felt sorrow more fully than I could even imagine.  Why should I think I can go through my life without it?  The second thing that I realized is that Heavenly Father is aware of all of our sorrows.  If we can but endure through them to the end, we also can taste of that fulness of joy that was promised to the Three Nephites.  We will also be able to sit down in the kingdom of our Father, where our earthly sorrows will be turned to joy.  What a blessing!

I'm very grateful for this chance that I've had to put some extra time into my study.  Hopefully I came away from it learning what I was supposed to learn.  If nothing else, I've learned the importance of prayerfully considering each chapter that I read.  That's a great lesson just by itself.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 28

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 29

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 30

Baby Steps

Last night, my husband and I left to run errands and do a little bit of Christmas shopping.  It was so nice to be able to just get out and relax.  It almost made me forget what it used to be like when I'd have to go shopping with all the kids.  Almost.  Those were definitely the times that try men's souls.  I would, out of either bravery or sheer stupidity, think that whatever I needed at the store just couldn't wait until my husband got home from work to stay with the kids, and we would load up and venture out.  I usually regretted it before we even arrived at the store, what with all the "MO-OOOM!  He's touching me!" and "She's breathing my air!" comments coming from the back of the van.  Once we arrived at the store, they would transform from pretty normal, well-adjusted kids, into little beggars.  My ears would ring with cries of "Please, mom?  Can I have this?  If you buy this for me, I'll never ask for another thing in my WHOLE life."  After awhile, our trips to the store would include a brief lecture in the parking lot before seatbelts could come off.  "No, you can't have anything, so don't ask.  No running.  No hitting.  No yelling.  Stay right next to the cart - no wandering off.  If one person asks me if they can have something, we will come straight back out to this car and go home with nothing.  Don't test me." So, they stopped asking.  But they didn't stop testing.  "Mom, isn't this (insert name of candy or toy or hair pretty or clothing item here) so great???  I wonder what it would be like to have one."  My favorite trick, though (and they all still use it), is when one of the kids would say something like, "Look at this!  I'm pretty sure that Kim would love it.  Maybe we should just buy it for her and if she doesn't like it, I could have it."  Professional con artists, I've raised.

Needless to say, when my oldest daughter got old enough that we could leave her home with the younger kids, we jumped at the chance.  As much as we wanted to, though, we didn't start out with an all-day excursion.  I think the first time I left her in charge, I went to the convenience store around the corner.  I was gone for no more than ten or fifteen minutes.  As worried as I was that a fireball would somehow fall from the sky and consume my house and all my children within that time period, it was a little freeing to be out on my own in the middle of the day.  So I kept doing it.  I would leave for for a little bit longer each time.  Baby steps.  When I finally realized that she could handle it and that the earth wasn't going to open up under my house and swallow them up if I left for an hour or two, I could really enjoy my alone time.  Soon, the time at which I would decide to come home was decided upon only when the other customers at the store got tired of my cell phone ringing.  "Everything is going great.  When are you coming home?  Are you almost here?  What's for dinner?  I forgot what I was going to say.  I love you."  Now, after a few years, the kids are all pretty independent, and because of that, so am I.  I can pretty much leave whenever I need or want to, without much worry.  And it is so nice.

As I was reading this morning, I stumbled upon some versus that were similar in theory to my experiences with the kids.

And when they shall have received this, which is expedient that they should have first, to try their faith, and if it shall so be that they shall believe these things then shall the greater things be made manifest unto them.

Behold, I was about to write them, all which were engraven upon the plates of Nephi, but the Lord forbade it, saying:  I will try the faith of my people. (3 Nephi 26: 9, 11)

I'm not quite sure what these "greater things" are that have been withheld from the Book of Mormon, but I completely understand the reasoning behind withholding them.  Baby steps.  There are many, many people who don't believe that the Book of Mormon is the word of God.  He is teaching us, just as Isaiah foretold, "precept upon precept...line upon line; here a little, and there a little"(Isaiah 28:10).  Just as I gave my daughter more and more responsibility, little by little, as she showed she was capable, the Lord will give us more according to our faith and willingness to accept what small amount we have been given.  I'm sure that he'd love to just give it all to us right now, but he knows that we need to be completely ready.  Again, an example of a wise and omnipotent Father.  I don't know if I will live to see the "greater things" revealed, but I hope to prove to God my worthiness to someday receive them.  For now, I'll just keep taking those baby steps.

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 25

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 26

Click here to read what I read today: 3 Nephi 27