To Be or Not To Be (Happy)

As I'm typing this morning, I can see out my office window the driving rain begin to change into big, wet snowflakes, and I'm not super thrilled.  I do not love snow.  I don't like driving in it.  I don't like walking in it.  I don't like how after a few weeks it turns from a gorgeous white blanket into an ugly, brown, slushy mess.  I don't like that it gets tracked into my house, melting into puddles of dirty water on my hardwood entry-way floor.  I'm not a skier or a snow-shoer or even a sledder.  I get cold and then I get crabby.

I have a friend, on the other hand, who gets absolutely giddy at the tiniest chance of snow in the forecast.  She bought new snowboarding boots in July and posted pictures on the internet for us all to see, along with the caption "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"  Disgusting.

I finished reading the book of Alma today.  The nearly twenty year long war between the Nephites and Lamanites under Captain Moroni's leadership was drawing to a close, with the Nephites retaining all of their cities. 

But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility. (Alma 62:41)

I found this to be a very interesting verse.  The war was the same length for everyone, yet people had been shaped differently by it.  While some chose to become hardened and angry over their circumstances, others humbled themselves and were grateful for their afflictions.  In their trials, they either chose to look for the good or look for the bad.  But it was their choice.

It's the same with me and my friend and snow.  While I look at only the downside of a snowy day, my friend is able to see only the advantages.  I can change my outlook by finding joy in the snow.  I have an excuse to stay inside, snuggled in a blanket, drinking hot chocolate.  I can let myself revel in the beauty of the new-fallen snow - before anyone mars it with their footsteps.  I can build a fire in the fireplace and bask in it's warmth.  I can listen as my children giggle and scream as they sled down the tiny hill next to my house.  There really is a lot of joy in that awful, cold, wet stuff.

This is true for any difficulty or discomfort that I may encounter in my life.  I can choose to dwell on the negative aspects of each particular situation, or I can look for the good.  It is my choice.  There is always some good.  I may just have to wade through a lot of cold, wet, slushy stuff to find it.

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 61

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 62

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 63

Be Up and Doing

I'm kind of a lazy person...I'll admit that.  I haven't always been that way, but over time it has just sort of developed.  I love to be on my computer, even if I'm doing nothing at all.  I will read the news, check my email, watch a TV show, play a game.  I think it's my little escape from the world that is mine.   I can just tune everything out and be in my own little space.  There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but I do it way too much.  My housework suffers, my physical fitness has much to be desired, and even my relationships with my family are less than they should be.  I hide.  What started out as just hiding has become habit.  I can't walk past my office without checking my favorite websites.  So now, it's just sort of become easier to hang out in here all day.  And so, what started out as escaping has evolved into simple laziness.

I loved reading today more about Captain Moroni.  What an incredible man he was.  Definitely movie-quality, super-hero type stuff.  But out of everything I read today, four words jumped off the page.  Moroni was venting his frustrations to the governor that more food and reinforcements had not been sent to him and Helaman.  He was angry.  He told Pahoran, the governor, that unless he decided to do something, he would make sure the government was overthrown.

And now, except ye do repent of that which ye have done, and begin to be up and doing, and send forth food and men unto us, and also unto Helaman, that he may support those parts of our country which he has regained, and that we may also recover the remainder of our possessions in these parts, behold it will be expedient that we contend no more with the Lamanites until we have first cleansed our inward vessel, yea, even the great head of our government. (Alma 60:24)

Be up and doing.  I love that phrase!  Get busy.  I need to take that phrase literally.  Get up.  Get out of the office.  Get going.  Get doing.  It's not as if I don't have things that need doing.  I really do have places to go and people to see and many, many worthwhile projects to complete.  I know that it will be a difficult change for me to make, but I can do hard things.  I know I can.  I'll just start out with a little bit at a time.  I can get my priorities back to where they need to be, and before long I will change my laziness into activity.  If anyone needs to find me, I'll be up and doing. 

"High Five, Mr. Bee"                                                    ©Darrell Wyatt

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 59

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 60

Hurry Up and Wait

©Darrell Wyatt

The other day, as I was making bread, I was thinking about how incredible modern technology is.  I had three loaves baking in the oven, three loaves rising on the counter and the dough for three more was being kneaded in my mixer.  In a matter of an hour and a half, I would have nine fresh, warm loaves of homemade bread.  That in itself is a kind of modern miracle, but add that to the other things that I had going on at the same time, and it really is almost unbelievable to think about.  I was washing and drying laundry.  I was printing out handmade candy wrappers to ship halfway across the world.  I also had dried beans cooking in my electric pressure cooker for that night's dinner.  And all of these things were done before lunchtime.  Not to mention that during all this I was on the internet, most likely talking to family or friends hundreds of miles away.

It's no wonder that we've become such an impatient society.  We are so used to having every wish granted almost instantaneously.  If I want a recipe, it's much quicker to look it up on the internet than to search through my cookbooks.  My kids don't even know what the phone book is - in fact, my son called it the "phone dictionary" the other day - because if we need a number, we can have it within just a few seconds using the computer.  Long gone are the days of encyclopedias and dictionaries and thesauruses.  Every bit of information that we need is at our fingertips - literally.  Just a few keystrokes and we can be wherever we want, learning whatever we wish.

While all of these modern conveniences are amazing and fantastic and I'm pretty sure I could never live without most of them, I believe that they can also inhibit our personal growth.  Sometimes waiting is good for us.  It teaches patience and endurance.

This morning, I read more of the trials of Helaman and his army.  They were already small in number compared to the Lamanites against whom they were at war, and they had to use some of their forces to protect the cities that they had regained as to not let them fall back into the hands of the Lamanites. So Helaman decided that it would be wise to wait for provisions and reinforcements before going to battle again to take back control of more of their cities.  He sent an embassy to the governor to let him know of their situation and to request more food and men to fight with them.  But the Lamanites were receiving provisions also, so it was impossible for Helaman's small group to overpower them and he stayed back.

And it came to pass that we did wait in these difficult circumstances for the space of many months, even until we were about to perish for the want of food.(Alma 58:7)

Finally, they received food, brought by two thousand men who joined forces with them.  Helaman said, "and this is all the assistance which we did receive, to defend ourselves and our country from falling into the hands of our enemies, yea, to contend with an enemy which was innumerable".(Alma 58:8)  He was frustrated.  He was unsure why this was all the help they received, and he and his men were very concerned that they wouldn't be able to go against the Lamanites with so few men.

Therefore we did pour out our souls in prayer to God, that he would strengthen us and deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, yea, and also give us strength that we might retain our cities, and our lands, and our possessions, for the support of our people.

Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him. (Alma 58:10-11)

The rest of the chapter details the strategy that Helaman and his armies used to defeat the much larger army of Lamanites.

As I read, I thought about why the Lord would have made them wait for provisions for so long.  Really, He could have provided for these men who were fighting for a righteous and noble cause, but He didn't.  He made them wait.  I played out in my mind a scenario where these men didn't have to wait.  They received immediate reinforcements and provisions and were able to defeat the Lamanite army quickly and soundly.  And then it hit me.  Nowhere in that scenario would they have had to rely on the Lord for help.  They would not have had to utilize their faith in His deliverance.  They may have taken the credit themselves for winning the battle, instead of putting it where it rightfully belonged - with God.

There are times when I pray that I expect an immediate answer.  If I do not receive it in my desired time frame, I invariably start to wonder if the Lord is really listening to me or if he even cares, when in fact this delayed answer may just be concrete evidence of how much he really does love me.  He loves me enough to help me grow.  My dependence upon Him keeps me grounded.  

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 58

Exactness

©Darrell Wyatt

 
Since I started this blog, I have had sort of a routine.  I get the kids off to school and then I sit down and read.  Sometimes, as I'm reading, thoughts will pop into my head and I'll know the exact direction that I want my writing to take me.  More often, though, I will have a jumble of thoughts to sort through and decide what I should write about.  I usually, but not always, say a prayer before I start typing.  Some days, even with much thought and a prayer, I can't decide what I will say.  On those days I usually read and then do something else while I'm thinking.  Sometimes I check my email and play computer games until I think of something.  Other days I shower or do the dishes or run errands.  Today, I decided to catch up on some of my TV shows.  We don't have cable, so I watch nearly everything the next day on the internet.  The shows that I watched today usually have some objectionable content, but I have always pushed it to the back of my mind because the storylines are so intriguing.

As I was watching today, I became completely immersed in the plot of one of the shows. It detailed the egregious attack of a woman doctor in her office.  It was played out with such authenticity that when the show was over, I couldn't shake the emotions that had come over me.  This is going to sound completely cliche, but it felt dark in my house.  This is one of the most beautiful days we've had all fall.  A bright, gorgeous, totally out of the ordinary November day.  But when that show finished, it might as well have been the darkest, rainiest, most dreary day of the year.

Contrast that to just an hour earlier.  I had just finished reading my scriptures and pondering what I was going to write about.  There's such a peaceful, calm feeling that I get after I've really read and concentrated on what I was reading.  It's so serene, and well...lovely.  There really isn't a much better feeling.

I read more about the army of Helaman and how those young boys fought so valiantly and with so much faith.  At the end of a horrendous battle, "there was not one soul of them who did perish" (Alma 57:25).  Their faith in and trust of God's ability to deliver them paid off.  But that's not all.  Faith alone is not what saved them.  It was the action that they put behind that faith.

Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness...(Alma 57:21)

Exactness.  No waffling.  No shortcuts.  Only exactness.

As I've been thinking about my experience this morning, I've come to the conclusion that had I been following "every word of command with exactness", I would have been able to escape that roller coaster of emotions.  I have always known, even if I pushed it aside, that the show I watched was inappropriate.  Had I listened to my conscience and stopped watching months ago, I would have been doing something else this morning.  Instead, I ruined that spirit that I had with me after reading my scriptures.  I could have gone for a walk.  I could have done chores or errands (heaven knows I have a few waiting).  However, because I chose to give in to my curiosity or boredom or whatever got me started watching in the first place, I changed the course of my day.  But, just as it was my actions that caused the dark feeling that came over me, it is also my choice of action that can lift it.  I reread my scriptures, and I feel much better already.  I can't erase the feelings that I had while watching, and I don't think I want to.  I hope that I can always remember that contrast that I felt between doing something worthwhile and something useless and degrading.  Sometimes I think that I need a little wake up call in order to correct my course.  I think this was it.  After today, I'm on my way back to exactness in observing and performing "every word of command".

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 57

Our Mothers Knew It

I'm never going to be Mother of the Year.  I gave up on that awhile ago, but every once in awhile there will be some sort of blow up or mishap that just reaffirms it for me.  Last night was one of those nights.  It was probably a combination of exhaustion and stress and hormones (not just mine, by the way), but whatever it was created the perfect storm.  There really was no yelling on my part.  I tried really, really hard to make sure that I wasn't screaming.  But I did say some things that were, in hindsight, probably better left unsaid.  The bad thing about it is that I'm not sure if anything at all got resolved.  Time will tell, I suppose.

I read today about the two thousand young men that joined Helaman.  He referred to them as stripling warriors, because they were all very young.  Two thousand of them, probably around the age of my two oldest kids, and perhaps even younger.  They were in a perilous position, with a strong Lamanite army chasing after them, when all of the sudden they were alone.  Helaman realized that the Lamanites had probably stopped and were attacking another Nephite army who was bringing up the rear, and he thought that it may be a trap to get him and the boys to turn around.  He was in a tough spot - should he turn back, and perhaps fall into the trap, endangering these young men or should he continue forward, and risk that his fellow Nephites would be killed?  So he presented the situation to these young boys:

Therefore what say ye, my sons,  will ye go against them to battle?(Alma 56:44)

In his letter to Captain Moroni, Helaman expresses his astonishment at the great courage that these boys showed with their response to him:

And now I say unto you, my beloved brother Moroni, that never had I seen so great courage, no not amongst all the Nephites.

For as I had ever called them my sons (for they were all of them very young) even so they said unto me:  Father, behold our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall; then let us go forth...

Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying:  We do not doubt our mothers knew it.  (Alma 56:45-48)

I've thought about this a lot.  There were two thousand of those boys.  Some of them were probably brothers, so it's safe to say that there were at least one thousand mothers who were responsible for raising them in such a manner that they would respond in the way that they did.  To me, this is somewhat mind-boggling.  More than one thousand righteous mothers, who did not know what the future would hold for their sons.  They had no idea that these boys would someday be called upon to fight to protect their families.  And when they were needed, these moms let their boys go with nothing but faith that they would be returned to them.  Why were the boys so brave?  Because their mothers gave them the strength and the knowledge that if they believed in God, he would deliver them from whatever circumstances they would fall into.  

These were really courageous young men, but I can't stop thinking about their moms.  What had they done to be so trusted by their sons?  These boys said "We do not doubt our mothers knew it."  They did not doubt.  How had these women behaved as they were raising their sons?  Did they have nights like I had last night, when they went to bed angry or frustrated?  I imagine that some of them probably did.  So how did they overcome that and earn the faith and trust of their children?  The only way that I can see that that would be possible is with the help and guidance of the Lord.  The only person that could possibly love my kids more than I do is Heavenly Father.  He wants to see them succeed.  He wants to see them happy.  So I have no doubt that if I will bring my concerns and frustrations to Him, He will guide me through them.  He will show me the way to earn my kids' trust.  

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 56

Slow, Slow, Quick, Quick

©Darrell Wyatt

Thus we see how quick the children of men do forget the Lord their God, yea, how quick to do iniquity, and to be led away by the evil one. (Alma 46:8)

But behold, the Nephites were not slow to remember the Lord their God in this their time of affliction.  They could not be taken in by [the Lamanites'] snares...(Alma 55:31)

I like lists.  I don't follow them very well, but I like to make them.  Grocery lists. Chore lists.  To Do Lists.  Lists of bills and lists of appointments.  I have lists everywhere.  So this morning, when I was reading, my mind wandered to two more lists - The Slow List and The Quick List.  The scriptures repeatedly talk of things that the Nephites and Lamanites were slow or quick to do.  They were slow to remember their God in times of need (or not slow, as the above verse shows), they were quick to do iniquity, slow to hearken to the commandments.  I began to think of the things that I'm quick and slow at.  Here's what I came up with:

Quick

• To judge
• To anger
• To defensiveness
• To forgive (I really feel like this isn't a huge problem for me most of the time)
• To give up
• To give in

Slow

• To wake up
• To clean up
• To forgive (Although this isn't a problem most of the time, it can be a problem when it matters, i.e. my kids)
• To serve
• To show affection

Yeah.  I know.   I'm not super proud of those lists.  The fantastic thing, though, is that it is within my power to change them.  The funny thing is, all I need to do is swap the headings to make them look like this:

Slow

• To judge
• To anger
• To defensiveness
• To give up
• To give in

Quick

• To wake up
• To clean up
• To forgive - With everyone, every time.
• To serve
• To show affection

That looks so much better!  These are two lists that I can constantly work on and look at and hopefully someday "check mark" and complete.  And unlike my grocery lists and chore lists and to do lists, the slow and quick lists really matter.  They are lists that will make a real difference in my life and the lives of those around me.  I guess I'd better be quick to follow them.

Give Me Liberty

I've been really trying to steer clear of politics in my posts, but given the timing, today's subject seems appropriate.

In the last few chapters, the word "liberty" has been mentioned quite a bit.  In fact, there are 24 chapters in the Book of Mormon where the word is used one or more times.  It is the main reason that the Nephites were engaged in war against the Lamanites.

And now the design of the Nephites was to support their lands, and their houses, and their wives ad their children, that they might preserve them from the hands of their enemies; and also that they might preserve their rights and their privileges, yea, and also their liberty, that they might worship God according to their desires. (Alma 43:9)

Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, ad their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rites of worship and their church.(Alma 43:45)

Today I read about the formation of Helaman's Army.  Two thousand young men who volunteered to fight so that their parents could honor the oath that they had made years earlier to never lift a weapon of war again.

And they entered into a covenant to fight for the liberty of the Nephites, yea, to protect the land unto the laying down of their lives; yea, even they covenanted that they never would give up their liberty, but they would fight in all cases to protect the Nephites and themselves from bondage.(Alma 53:17)

This covenant was not unlike the oath that members of the United States Armed Forces swear upon enlistment:

I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

 

©Darrell Wyatt

 

Today, I am feeling extremely blessed to have fellow countrymen who are willing to lay down their lives for my freedoms.  No matter whether I believe that the wars we are fighting today are just or unjust, I still have an enormous amount of gratitude for those willing to serve.

 

There are times that it feels as if my liberties are slowly slipping away, and I'm sure it feels like that sometimes for everyone, no matter their political or religious beliefs.   I am blessed not to have to take up arms to defend my liberties, but that doesn't diminish my responsibility to protect them.  Tomorrow, November 2nd, I will have the opportunity to cast my vote for whichever candidate and whatever laws that I believe will best represent my values and uphold my freedoms.  Every registered voter will have that same privilege and responsibility.  I have prayed for my country many times.  I have prayed for its leaders.  Tonight I will pray that I will make the right choices as I cast my ballot.  I firmly believe that our Heavenly Father does care what happens to this country and its citizens.  I hope that many people will do the same - put aside political correctness and divisive partisanship and give honest and prayerful thought to those for whom they will vote. 

Click here to read what I read today: Alma 53