Friday, July 30, 2010

8 Words.

"I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents...."

Someone once said that those could be the most read words in all of Mormon-dom (yes I know that's probably not a word).  We all have good intentions.  We WANT to read the scriptures every day.  So we start.  And we read those eight words, and hopefully many more, but we don't always finish.  So we start again.  With those eight words.

I had a few thoughts when I was reading early this morning.  

First, I wondered how old Nephi was when he used those words to start his record.  I'm not a Book of Mormon scholar by any means, and I'm sure that someone has made an educated and pretty accurate guess as to his age, but I'm not sure what that is.  I get the idea from later in 1st Nephi that he was probably a teenager when most of the record took place, but he may have written it when he was older and reflecting back on his life.  I tend to believe that he was older.  Maybe kids were different back then, but I don't know a whole lot of teenagers who look upon their parents as 'goodly' until they've matured some and can look back.  My sister and I were talking a little about that just yesterday.  Most of the rules we had growing up seemed silly and overkill-ish (another of my made up words), but as we look back, having children of our own, we can appreciate them much more.  So I choose to believe that as Nephi started his journal, he was reflecting on the goodness of his parents.

What I'm about to say may change your opinion of me forever.  A few months ago, in a fit of desperation, I read my daughter's journal.  She was going through some very worrisome troubles at school, and no matter what we did, we couldn't get through to her.  I needed to know what was happening, and she wouldn't tell me.  So, I went into her room, and there it was.  Hiding in her backpack under her bed.  I felt kind of strangely guilty at first, like I was breaking into a bank vault.  My ears were on high alert for little feet coming down the stairs.  But this was my daughter.  I needed to be able to help her.  So I read.  And let me just say, 'goodly' was not among the words she used to describe me.  Wow!  Were there some hard things to read.  Nothing overtly dangerous or life-altering, thank goodness, but I was able to get some clue into what was happening in her life.  The most difficult parts to read were when she talked about how I was ruining her life.  I know, the irony of being told how much I butt into my daughter's life, while sitting on her bed reading her journal.  No matter what anyone thinks about teenage privacy, as a result of me invading hers, we were able to pull her out of some dark place in her life. I haven't felt the necessity to read her journal since then, and I hope that I never do.  But, if something comes up that I can't fix, I wouldn't hesitate.  Oh, and in case you're wondering, I did tell her a few weeks ago what I did.  We had a wonderful talk, and I told her that she didn't need to apologize for anything that she wrote about me, and that I still love her.  She at least pretended to understand my motives, which made me think that we might just be progressing afterall.

This is a picture my dad took of Kimberlee's journal.  For awhile, it was hard for me to look at, knowing what might be in there, but now I see it just as this picture depicts - a beautiful new beginning to our relationship.


This brings me to the second thought that I had while reading.  Am I a 'goodly parent'?  I sure try.  I don't think that some would see me as a goodly parent according to today's standards.  I'm too bossy.  I'm too overprotective.  As one of my daughter's old friends told me, I just need to "chill" (hence the description old friend).  But I refuse to chill.  These are my kids.  I believe they were entrusted to me by Heavenly Father, and it is my responsibility to set them on the right path back to Him.  Whenever I tell them that, the eye-rolling begins.  If eye-rolling were an Olympic sport, I have a few kids that would take the gold hands down.  

So just what is a goodly parent?  I highlighted a few things while I was reading, which I believe to be 'goodly' qualities.  First off, Nephi says that he was "taught somewhat in all the learning" of his father.  Does this mean I have to homeschool my kids?  Aaaack!  I don't think so.  I think that I just need to remember that the learning doesn't stop when the school bell rings.  Another thing that Nephi mentioned often was that his father "prayed unto the Lord".  The importance of our kids seeing us pray cannot be overstated.  This is an area that I need to greatly improve upon.  After Lehi's vision in which he "saw God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels", he "prophesied and spake unto his children".  He needed those kids to know the gravity of the things that he had seen.  Nephi also saw his father face much persecution. He was mocked "because of the things which he testified of them".  ..."they also sought his life, that they might take it away".  Yet he did not back down.  Do I do enough to teach my kids perseverance in the face of opposition?  Hopefully they'll never face the kind of opposition that Lehi did, but there will definitely be challenges.  I must teach them to persevere. 

So, I guess the moral of today's reading, for me anyway, is that 'goodly' doesn't necessarily come easy.  I need to keep climbing that ladder.  I absolutely know without a doubt that I was born of goodly parents.  Now I just need to make sure that my kids will be able to say the same thing.  Maybe not today or tomorrow, but when they someday make a record of their lives, they will know that I did all that was in my power to raise them in the way that I thought to be right.  That I will be able to live up to the title of 'goodly parent'.

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